Coping Skills: #61. Changing the Conversation

Looking at a romper in the mirror

Why don’t we just talk about something else? Like…rompers!

Today, people around me began talking about their dislike for another person. My anxiety heightened as I listened to their words. Sure, they were not hurting me directly. However, hearing gossip not only harms the listener’s opinion of someone else but also causes disgruntlement and other nasty feelings to grow.

We certainly can be annoyed and even angry with others. People can be cruel, aggravating, overly demanding, and ignorant. Yet, gossip does little to help the situation. Sometimes, I tell my mother about what others have said or done. My purpose is not to rag on someone else but to gain wisdom for how to deal with the situation. Other times, I simply need to vent. That is normal. However, I still think that gossip is not the best choice.

So in awkward situations like this, what is a coping skill that one can use? I decided to try changing the conversation several times today.

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You Are a Hero

Everyone has the ability to be a super hero. Not all people make that choice, but they have the ability to change the world for the better.

That might not look the way it does in movies. As far as I know, people cannot fly, shoot fire out of their hands, scale buildings without equipment, or pick up cars. This is not the type of super hero that we see in the world.

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One Thousand Thanks: 747 – 754. Really Awesome Roommates

World's Worst Sister
World's Worst Sister

A sister is both your mirror – and your opposite. – Elizabeth Fishel

Growing up, my sisters and I roomed together for many years. After I was around 10, I received my own room. However, some of those nights with Christine and Maria when we giggled or bickered in whispers still bring a smile to my face.

Now I am have roommates again. They are some of the sweetest, best listening, friendliest, and wisest girls I have ever met. I am so honored that they wanted me to share a room with them. So here is a post about them, as well as my sisters, and why having a roommate can be great.

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Have People Abandoned Me All My Life?

Callie and me

Standing with Callie in Oxford

The first day of school turned out to be much better than yesterday. One of the best parts was running into so many people who I dearly love. To my great joy, they seemed as excited to see me as I was to see them. Days like this remind me why I wanted to move onto campus and be part of this community.

Seeing my friends and having them react so positively made me ponder why we tend to assume people think the worst about us. For me, it seems to be a coping mechanism. If I think others hate me or are at least annoyed by my presence, then it hurts less when they abandon me.

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Everywhere I Look, I Catch a Glimpse of Oxford

Bridget and Megan

Friends at Oxford

Classes start tomorrow. While working on my internship earlier today, I found myself seeing people and things that made me think of Oxford. Surges of sorrow struck me as I realized that this was just an illusion.

I am glad to be back at my university in the States, I really am! However, it is agonizing thinking of what I had at Oxford. I wish that I could stay in the moment and enjoy what I have here.

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Recovery in the Media: #60. American Authors

American Authors

Uplifting in both beat and lyric, this band refuses to let the hardship of the past hold them back from enjoying the future.

60. American Authors

Hearing ‘The Best Day of My Life” numerous times on the radio was my first introduction to the band American Authors. I enjoyed the song but did not think much about it. However, another one of their songs, “Believer,” really touched me. As I began to hear more of their songs, my admiration for their simple style and optimistic lyrics grew. That is why I decided to discuss them today for Media Monday. Hopefully you will have your spirit lifted a bit by their music like mine is.

Selected Songs:

  • “Luck” from their Oh, What a Life album
  • “Ghost” from their Oh, What a Life album
  • “Love” from their Oh, What a Life album
  • “Think About It” from their Oh, What a Life album
  • “Believer” from their Oh, What a Life album

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Listaliciousness: Fan-Favorite Couples, Oxford Restaurants, and Sherlock in Harry Potter

Books from OxfordMy love of making lists is no secret. So, when I had the urge to make a list of links from this past week, I decided to incorporate it into my blog. Especially with school starting, ways to help think of writing ideas is important. Thus, each week will contain Listaliciousness Sunday, Media Monday, Tip Tuesday (such as top ten lists), Thankfulness Thursday, Film Friday (with a Youtube video), and Coping Skill Saturday. I had already been doing most of these but will just become more consistent with them.

Anyway, here is my listaliciouness for this past week. Some are written by me and other are things that I found and liked. Enjoy!

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Coping Skills: #60. Set Reasonable Goals

Path in Oxford garden

What path are you taking and what goals are you setting?

Yesterday, I moved onto campus and slept in my new room. All of today was spent at my university. This past day has been wonderful but also nerve-wracking and stressful. Escalated eating disorder symptoms have made that more and more apparent to me.

Just like in Oxford, symptoms that I rarely used are sneaking back into my life as are ones that were still present but tamer. Now, I feel flooded with urges that I either lack the will power to resist or seem more appealing than following my meal plan. Although I am trying to stay on track, this school year and eating is becoming an important issue that I need to address.

One of the ways that I have already begun to work through this issue is by setting reasonable goals. Writing lists and setting goals is one of my favorite coping skills. I enjoy checking off what I have done and thinking about how to accomplish what is left.

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Never Stop Dancing

My mother named me “Anna” which means “Grace” because she felt like I was a dancer while in her womb. Her thought was not so much that I would become a ballerina but that I would dance through life with grace.

When I think about that name, I feel sometimes like I have failed it. If my life has been a dance, it has looked more like a tempest-filled Irish jig with me falling over in the intense parts of the the music. Or perhaps it has been a breakdance routine where I struggle to get back on my feet.

Yet, sometimes I think about the beauty of a dance and like to compare it to life. Your choreography might seem simple to those who know little about dance, but that is not an indicator of how hard you are working on an intricate step. Sweat runs down your face, but you must stay in the moment and give everything to the dance until the music stops. That sounds a bit like life to me. So why shouldn’t we keep on dancing despite the hardship.

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One Thousand Thanks: 736 – 746. Meaningful Memories

Survival Guide to Being a Bridesmaid

Me with my friend Ruth and my sister Christine, her sister Teresa, and another friend

Today, I went to see The Giver at the theater I am working at now. It was amazing. Probably not as good as the book, but much better than I could have ever hoped for it to be. If you have time, please go and see this touching and uplifting masterpiece.

Anyway, it centers on memories that bring back emotions and things from the past. This made me think about my own memory. Mostly it haunts me. Yet, there are many elements and moments of beauty in my life. Thus, for Thankfulness Thursday, I am going to look at all of the wonderful memories that have stuck with me.

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