Why Do Loneliness and Hungry Go Together?

Olaf cupcake

Olaf cupcake

For some reason, certain emotions seem to be linked together more often than others. Happiness and relaxation, sadness and tiredness, stress and irritability.

Another pair that I often link is loneliness and hungry. When I am lonely, I get hungry often. This does not seem uncommon from what I can tell. Others seem to eat when they are lonely or feel unloved.

Continue reading

Thanksgiving Away From Home

Talking to Mickey Mouse

I am so thankful for my wonderful boss, Mickey Mouse.

I never liked Thanksgiving very much. Most times, my social anxiety made me sick and caused me to hide at family functions.

Today, however, being away from family stinks. I cried when I saw families at Disney World and thought of my own. All I want is to be with them right now.

Still, there is so much to be thankful for today. Here are my blessings, the same number as my age:

Continue reading

Angst vs. Honesty

Me in black and white

Is it angst or honesty?

If I’m honest, I struggle with being angsty sometimes. “Oh my life is awful! No one loves me! I would be better dead!” On and on the negative thoughts go.

Angst is annoying at best and only pushes people away instead of drawing them into your support team. It makes you seem like a victim instead of a survivor, a martyr instead of a warrior, a helpless person instead of a strong person.

Continue reading

For Every Bad Thought, Think Two Good Ones

Meeting Peter Pan

Peter Pan knew how to think of positive, happy thoughts.

The other day, hatred for myself kept creeping into my thoughts. In fact, self-loathing has been especially strong the past few weeks.

A coworker gave me a helpful tip. “For every bad thought about yourself, think two good ones,” she told me.

Is that really possible? I doubted my ability to do this. However, she simplified this coping skill by having me choose two things that I liked about myself and concentrating on them throughout the day. My thoughts were that I liked my hair and love of learning.

Continue reading

How Do You Ignore the Past?

Silly Family

Just being sillly,

Honestly, how? Is there a secret way of moving on and living a normal life? Because I certainly have not found that method out yet.

Some people seem so flippant about their past. Others forgive and forget quickly.

I wish that could be me. Instead, I am stuck in a cycle of remembrance and frustration. Fear and depression join in as well.

So does anyone know? How do you ignore the past? Or at least, how do you move on with your life?

Too Scared to Watch TV

Baby in pajamasGrowing up, I was always too sensitive to watch certainly movies. Maybe I should even say “most” movies. Even cartoon violence scared me.

Now, my fear is still similar. When friends or roommates watch The Walking Dead or even a PG movie like Tomorrowland, I cower in my bedroom.

Is this fear good or bad? I am not sure. It certainly makes me an outcast. Now, I just feel lonely and stupid. Poor Anna Rose, too scared to be a big girl. After all, it’s just TV, right?

But what if I have a point? What if all that violence touches a part of me that most people ignore? What if my fear should be listened to instead of silenced?


Drawing People In, Pushing Them Away

Mary Poppins walking away

People come and go quickly in my life.

Being in Orlando has taught me a strange fact: I draw people to myself.

Writing that means that I must admit it which is hard. Me, a people person? Me, someone who others like? Me, friendly?

Yet, it is true. Whether chatting with a stranger on the bus or the new person at work, I enjoy knowing people’s stories which they, in turn, enjoy telling. When numerous people are asking to hang out, I must admit that something I am doing (or maybe who I am????) is making friends. Strange how I have changed over the years.

Continue reading

Highlights of Having My Family at Disney World

Tobias, a Royal Majesty Maker, with my family

Tobias, a Royal Majesty Maker, with my family

I am so sorry about the long wait! Life has been crazy with work.

More importantly though, I was busy for five days with my parents and little brother. They came to Disney World. It was the first time at the parks from my mother and Mario as well as the first time to all the parks besides Magic Kingdom for my Dad. Continue reading

Things that Put a Smile on My Face

About to ride on Dumbo

Riding the rides makes me smile.

After my last post, several people expressed concern about me. Now I feel a bit overly dramatic. Yes, life is stressful and hard down here in Florida. However, it is also full of amazement and new victories.

My smile falters with lots of hate for my body, PTSD flashbacks, anxiety, and depression. Yet, the smile returns daily for many things. Here are just a few: Continue reading