For some reason, certain emotions seem to be linked together more often than others. Happiness and relaxation, sadness and tiredness, stress and irritability.
Another pair that I often link is loneliness and hungry. When I am lonely, I get hungry often. This does not seem uncommon from what I can tell. Others seem to eat when they are lonely or feel unloved.
If I’m honest, I struggle with being angsty sometimes. “Oh my life is awful! No one loves me! I would be better dead!” On and on the negative thoughts go.
Angst is annoying at best and only pushes people away instead of drawing them into your support team. It makes you seem like a victim instead of a survivor, a martyr instead of a warrior, a helpless person instead of a strong person.
Peter Pan knew how to think of positive, happy thoughts.
The other day, hatred for myself kept creeping into my thoughts. In fact, self-loathing has been especially strong the past few weeks.
A coworker gave me a helpful tip. “For every bad thought about yourself, think two good ones,” she told me.
Is that really possible? I doubted my ability to do this. However, she simplified this coping skill by having me choose two things that I liked about myself and concentrating on them throughout the day. My thoughts were that I liked my hair and love of learning.
Being in Orlando has taught me a strange fact: I draw people to myself.
Writing that means that I must admit it which is hard. Me, a people person? Me, someone who others like? Me, friendly?
Yet, it is true. Whether chatting with a stranger on the bus or the new person at work, I enjoy knowing people’s stories which they, in turn, enjoy telling. When numerous people are asking to hang out, I must admit that something I am doing (or maybe who I am????) is making friends. Strange how I have changed over the years.
I am so sorry about the long wait! Life has been crazy with work.
More importantly though, I was busy for five days with my parents and little brother. They came to Disney World. It was the first time at the parks from my mother and Mario as well as the first time to all the parks besides Magic Kingdom for my Dad. Continue reading →
After my last post, several people expressed concern about me. Now I feel a bit overly dramatic. Yes, life is stressful and hard down here in Florida. However, it is also full of amazement and new victories.
My smile falters with lots of hate for my body, PTSD flashbacks, anxiety, and depression. Yet, the smile returns daily for many things. Here are just a few: Continue reading →