Here are three of my friends from Disney. I love meeting new people here.
With work and then playing in the parks, I have struggled to blog each day. This has caused a great deal of guilt. Why do I take time to do other things when I should be dedicated to this?
However, maybe my priorities are changing. Yes, this is still very important to me and certainly my readers are. You all have supported me through so much. Writing and helping others has been and continues to be an important part of my journey.
I’m creating my own kind of bucket list. Not the usual listing of things I wish to do before I leave this earth, but an accounting of the gracious drops of kindness that have filled my pail to the brim.
Whether the contribution was a single drip from an eyedropper or gallons upon gallons of generosity, all have buoyed my soul, washed away hours of pain, and carried me through turbulent trials.
And so I have decided to make a conscious effort to recognize these not-so-random acts. Some were as temporary as the morning dew, but equaling as cooling. Others have been like IVs, injecting nourishment continually. A few were summer storms: electrifying, powerful, and brief. Whether their perpetrators knew it or not, each and every one made a significant impact. They quenched my drought in spirit and left me flooded with gratitude.
This sloth is sometimes how I feel when I am down.
Today I started a new one type of therapy. Although I am feeling optimistic, some apprehension has already taken root in me. The therapist stressed the fact that her treatment would help me heal from past trauma. With that vampire bat gone from hanging in the corner of my mind, I would heal from the rest of my mental illness – depression, eating disorder, and anxiety included.
Can that really happen? Does one type of therapy cure mental illness? For that matter, does one medication?
What are your greatest fears? Some people might respond death while others will say spiders. Public speaking, rejection, monsters under the bed – the list of fears could go on for pages.
However, one of the biggest fears across the whole world is failure. No one likes to fail whether it is on a school project or on a business merger. We are faced with chances of failure every day and quite frequently – far more likely than we would like – do fail.
In my creativity class today, we assessed our creativity. The first part looked at our personality traits that matched those of other creative people. Meanwhile, the final part of the assessment graded our creative thinking skills.
Strangely enough, I ranked fairly low on the average scale in my personality traits but in the high margin for my creative thinking skills. This made me realize how Aspergers or Autism affects creativity. Those with this type of brain are not less creative than others, but we exhibit it in a different way.
The past two days were full but good for the most part. I am really sorry about not posting yesterday. Life has just been full of work and meetings.
My work and friends have supported me in finding more help for my mental health. I look forward to meeting with a therapist again although I am a bit nervous. However, this should be no different than at home. Plus, if I want to stay in Florida longer, I will need to find places to go for support.
Anyway, I just wanted to update you on what is going on with me and reassure you that I am fine. Tomorrow, I will write a longer post.
Today, I am too sad to write anything. Plus, this day has been totally full of work and other less wonderful things.
However, I realized that my feelings are sadness, hurt, anger, and fear. There is no deep sense of depression or self-loathing. My thoughts are not at all challenging or hard to control. In fact, they have been perfectly fine here in Florida.