Living in recovery (or at least attempting to) is strange. At times, the current sweeps you under and pins you under the water until you feel your lungs about to burst. Other times, the water seems like a calm pool, perhaps even enjoyably cool and refreshing.
Then there are days, weeks, months, years when you are just treading the water. You aren’t about to drown, but your feet certainly do not touch the ground to stabilize you. Each recovery-based choice takes considerable effort and seems like a waste most of the time. However, making those healthy choices is not impossible.
Memories haunt, words remind, fears remain, but I will survive.
When people warned me that he wasn’t a good friend, I just smiled sheepishly and shrugged. Sure, he was not perfect. Yet, a quirky, introverted, socially-anxious preteen girl took the friends she could get. So, I told myself repeatedly, “It’s not a big deal.”
It’s not a big deal if he tells me to shut up. I do talk too much.
It’s not a big deal if he belittles my dreams. They won’t come true anyway.
It’s not a big deal if he slaps my face. It was a gentle hit to keep me from being too weird.
Have you ever worried about something, so much so to the point where you found
yourself not being able to stop thinking about it , or even lay awake all night long?
Have you ever questioned or second-guessed a decision you made, or had regrets in regards
to the outcome of a previous relationship?
The Word reminds how there’s no use in worrying about something, because it won’t help the situation either way (Matthew 6:25-27)
Worrying about something only leaves you stressed out; nothing good comes from it.
Worrying is also an indicator that you haven’t given something totally over to the Lord; instead of casting the care, you’ve decided to take it on yourself – I’ve definitely been there before more than once in my own personal life.
What I’ve come to realize though, is that ultimately, God is in control – there’s nothing I could say, or could…
This sassy duck does not let anyone who doesn’t respect her into her life.
So much of my time is spent wondering how I am going to say “No” to someone. How will I let him down carefully? How do I keep her from getting angry at me? How do I get out of a situation without having to be obvious?
People are constantly telling me to give others a chance. We are often told not to “judge a book by its cover” and to “take time to really know a person.”
Those words of advice are very helpful in many situations. Yet, these wise sayings do not mean you need to say “Yes” or let everyone into your life. Sometimes, saying “No” is the safest and healthiest option.
Do you ever over-analyze a situation? Think about it until you have exhausted the ways to view it?
This seems to be my life. Why did he say that to me? Why is she looking at me? Are they thinking this? What if they really mean that?
These are the thoughts that continuously run through my head. Every moment of my life seems to be analyzed by myself.
Part of this is my Aspergers. To understand others and adapt socially, I taught myself to pay close attention to small details. Forgetting the “littlest” thing could lead to teasing or being abandoned by my peers.
However, some of my attentiveness seems to have gone overboard. Now, I no longer know how to control it. One word or glance might make me miserable for days. On the other hand, a positive interaction can make me elated for the rest of the week.
So does anyone else (especially those on the Autism spectrum) deal with this? How do you manage to not read too much into everything? Is this even a bad thing?