How often do you feel like yelling that to someone? Do things ever sneak up on you and check you by surprise? All you want to do is cry, “I’m not ready yet! Please give me time!”
Right now, I am feeling that about parts of my school. Currently, I am in a business class. All of the information that we learn is practical and important. However, I am not a marketing, accounting, PR, or business major. When I get a job, I do not want to be working my way up to eventually be the CEO of a large company. Yes, I have big dreams and hopes. However, they do not involve arriving at work in a suit with a $5 pen and witty remarks to sell my products every day!
There is nothing wrong with having these dreams. Many people do pursue business and do fantastic work. But I am not one of them. Thus, some of the assignments in this class have frightened me greatly. I just do not feel ready to take on these challenges.
Right now, I am especially anxious about this coming Monday. That evening, I have to attend a three-course meal. Not only that, professionals instruct us students how to eat during the meal. Evidently, we must not touch the plate the wrong way or no one will hire us for a job.
Food brings me much anxiety. But the fact that people will be watching and evaluating me makes it so much worse. What if I mess up and they point me out to the whole room? Suppose I break down in tears because of the stress? If I cannot eat, will someone scold me? So many worries pop into my mind.
However, I need to remember that this is simply on evening for a few hours. Will it be agonizing and uncomfortable? Yes, but I will survive. Even if I make a fool of myself and end up sobbing, life will continue on normally. My friends and family will not desert me. Instead, they are rooting for me to face this difficult task.
So, I am not ready for this scary step. Despite my uncertainty, I am still stepping forward. Perhaps Monday will be a disaster but perhaps it will be fine. Whatever the case, I am holding my head high and courageously moving forward. Life sometimes progresses without me wanting it to. I can choose to watch it pass by, be swept along in the waves, or sprint to keep up with it. Too often I have hidden from my future. Today I am not ready but I am willing to accept the swift path of my life.