But I’m Not Ready Yet

But I'm Not Ready Yet

“The trouble with the future is that it usually arrives before we’re ready for it.” – Arnold H. Glasow

How often do you feel like yelling that to someone?  Do things ever sneak up on you and check you by surprise?  All you want to do is cry, “I’m not ready yet!  Please give me time!”

Right now, I am feeling that about parts of my school.  Currently, I am in a business class.  All of the information that we learn is practical and important.  However, I am not a marketing, accounting, PR, or business major.  When I get a job, I do not want to be working my way up to eventually be the CEO of a large company.  Yes, I have big dreams and hopes.  However, they do not involve arriving at work in a suit with a $5 pen and witty remarks to sell my products every day!

There is nothing wrong with having these dreams.  Many people do pursue business and do fantastic work.  But I am not one of them.  Thus, some of the assignments in this class have frightened me greatly.  I just do not feel ready to take on these challenges.

Right now, I am especially anxious about this coming Monday.  That evening, I have to attend a three-course meal.  Not only that, professionals instruct us students how to eat during the meal.  Evidently, we must not touch the plate the wrong way or no one will hire us for a job.

Food brings me much anxiety.  But the fact that people will be watching and evaluating me makes it so much worse.  What if I mess up and they point me out to the whole room?  Suppose I break down in tears because of the stress?  If I cannot eat, will someone scold me?  So many worries pop into my mind.

However, I need to remember that this is simply on evening for a few hours.  Will it be agonizing and uncomfortable?  Yes, but I will survive.  Even if I make a fool of myself and end up sobbing, life will continue on normally.  My friends and family will not desert me.  Instead, they are rooting for me to face this difficult task.

So, I am not ready for this scary step.  Despite my uncertainty, I am still stepping forward.  Perhaps Monday will be a disaster but perhaps it will be fine.  Whatever the case, I am holding my head high and courageously moving forward.  Life sometimes progresses without me wanting it to.  I can choose to watch it pass by, be swept along in the waves, or sprint to keep up with it.  Too often I have hidden from my future.  Today I am not ready but I am willing to accept the swift path of my life.

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9 thoughts on “But I’m Not Ready Yet

  1. Best wishes for you on next Monday. 🙂 I get really anxious as well but hopefully the feeling will pass once you’re there.

  2. jefairgrieve says:

    Hi, Anna Rose! Why, oh why, is learning this a part of your college curriculum?? Ridiculous! The lesson sounds like something one would learn in an old-fashioned finishing school. Well, I remember doing something like this in the seventh grade, back in very early 1950s. The easiest way to learn this sort of thing is the way people learn what to do in church–you simply observe what others do and then follow suit, adding your own common sense in picking and choosing what to do and what not to do.
    Nowadays, you can probably find information, maybe even a video on YouTube, that will show you what to do. The person who told you about touching the plate the wrong way did you a disservice by scaring you and just making you all the more stressed out.
    Here’s my suggestion: Find a family friend you are comfortable with who eats out a lot and who knows how to eat this three-course meal the “proper” way, ask the person to show you how to do it, and practice until you feel confident. Then at your “class,” just nibble enough to demonstrate your skills. If you can, maintain a sense of humor!

    • That is a great idea! Thank you so much! Yes, it does seem odd to me that we have to learn it. However, a student from my school once went on a interview over supper and made a mistake. The person who interviewed them contacted my college and yelled at them to teach us better. Ever since then, certain classes require students to go to this dinner.

      • jefairgrieve says:

        Hi, Anna Rose–
        It’s not the college’s job to teach people manners. You said something about working in a restaurant, so I can imagine that you have observed all sorts of eating styles, some good some not so good. If you eat slowly, don’t talk with your mouth full, and don’t slouch or put your elbows on the table, you are probably ahead of the game! Just use your common sense and be polite. That will get you a long way! At least you don’t have the problem I have–I have to take my upper plate out gracefully and unobtrusively and stash it in my bra before I eat! Once I forgot it was there, and when I stood up, it slithered from my bra down my body and made a clanking sound on the floor. ; ) I thought, “Oh, well, that gives people something to talk about.” So if you find yourself getting anxious during the dinner, think of how lucky you are to be able to leave your teeth in your mouth!

        • Oh my, that would be embarrassing but the way you handled it is wonderful. I have indeed observed many different behaviors at the restaurant. My mother taught my sisters and I manners so I think I will know the basics. But it still is nerve-wracking. Thank you so much for the encouragement!

  3. 80smetalman says:

    I never aspired to be a CEO either but in 80s Regan America there was something wrong wit h you if you didn’t have those ambitions. Fortunately, I have found a job I’m very happy in and I hope you do too.

    • That must have been difficult to deal with! I am glad that you now have a job that you like. 🙂

      • 80smetalman says:

        Thanks, my mother was the big nag on that especially because at 24 years old, I was still going to rock concerts and people my age should have been focusing on their careers. There were a lot of arguments over that. Fortunately, that’s all over now. :@)

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