One of my favorite parts of Christmas is picking out gifts for others. If you have ever heard of the love languages, you will be aware that one of them is gifts. Along with words of affirmation, giving gifts is my main way of loving people and feeling cared for by others.
This trait sometimes backfired on me. Giving presents can bring about awkwardness if done in a pompous, overly indulgent, or strange way. However, the thought behind a gifts often has good intent. My aspergers has made it difficult to analyze situations and relationships. For years, I spent hundreds of dollars on gifts for people that I barely knew. This made them feel awkward which confused me. Now, giving to others fills me with anxiety but also joy.
So, although there can be disadvantages, giving gifts to others can be a great coping skill. It helps you to get out of your own head and focus on someone else. Picking out presents for another person can be enjoyable and exciting. Even better, watching the joy on the face of the receiver makes the money or time that you spent worth it.
There are many other ways that giving to others helps the giver. That does not discount that it can be a nerve-wracking experience. When you give a gift, you do not know what the response will be. What if the person hates your present or already has the item? How should you react then?
The important element to remember is that you are giving to love others. In that process, you will find joy and purpose as well. That does not mean that you have selfish motives. Giving simply to receive or try to win affection negates the purpose of being generous and thoughtful. However, hoping to raise your mood and grow closer to a friend are not bad reasons to find presents for others.
This coping skill is fairly simple although some people make it elaborate. To give a good gift, you do not need to spend a great deal of money. If that is how you wish to use your finances, then you can choose to do so. However, even little signs of care can go a long way. My sister slipped a CD with a few songs and Frozen water bottle onto my bed the other day with a little note. This might seem small, but it meant so much to me. Her thoughtfulness deeply touched my heart.
Gifts are normally given at Christmas, birthdays, and other special days. However, I advise that you give when you feel is the right time. Perhaps you see the perfect trinket for someone. Maybe a friend is struggling right now. Even if life is hard for you, looking for a gift for another person might be helpful. Do not limit giving to certain celebrations. Allow yourself to use this coping skill whenever you need it.
Also, thinking creatively is useful for this skill. As mentioned before, money does not need to factor into this majorly. Perhaps you simply offer to do a chore or take someone out on a walk. Maybe being creative and making something will work best for you. There are so many possibilities. So do not narrow the options down because of time or money.
Not everyone enjoys giving and receiving gifts. However, it can be a wonderful coping skill if you like it. I suggest that you try thinking of this skill if you struggling. Maybe it will help more than you had guessed it would.
- Guy Gives Homeless What They Want for Christmas from 100.7 Star Pittsburgh
- Joy in Giving from Afghans Abroad
- How to be a good gifter from This is Our Story
- Giving is the best communication from Belleola
- The Anti-Scrooge Christmas from The Gift of Helps
- 5 Ways to Redefine Holiday Gift Giving from Ryan Bolton’s Notes
- Traditions: gift giving from A L!fe Lived
- On Christmas Presents from if all else fails…use a hammer
- The non-parents guide to giving parent friendly gifts to children from The Fearse Family