Many people talk about love being a choice instead of a feeling. Sure, the gratitude toward a dear friend or fluttering of your heart when your crush draws near are wonderful. Love, however, means something more. This overused but powerful word stands for a decision we make about how we view and treat others around us.
Yet, I too often shy away from what this means about how to treat myself. If I believe in caring for other humans, the logical response would be doing the same for me. Instead, self-harm and restriction gang up against me along with negative thoughts. I choose hate instead of love.
Many people that I have met live by a double standard. Either they choose to love others and despise themselves, or they disrespect others while pampering themselves. When you meet someone with a healthy balance, you are drawn to their uplifting attitude toward life and trustworthy actions.
Why is this concept so difficult? Loving others and self-love sound related in theory, but so many people separate them from each other. Can’t one treat others with respect and care while keeping boundaries and being confident? If not, what is the reason behind the struggles to bridge these activities?
Sometimes, I need to look in the mirror and realize that I am indeed another person. Would I speak to others how I talk to myself? How often do you ask yourself that question? If the answer is no, then delving into the reason might be helpful. This is not an easy area to address; steering clear of these issues is safer than confronting them. Yet, our lives will be lived either denying ourselves or others love unless we deal with from whom we withhold love.
This video shows not only a way to love yourself but also the difficulty people have with this issue. Hopefully you will find it to be helpful.