I cringe as my wrapper crinkles. If only a few more minutes existed between my two classes. Perhaps then I could find a quiet corner for hiding. Instead, lunch must be consumed in the presence of my tiny class.
Our guest speaker tells about her experience as a freelancer. However, the sound of my own munching drowns out her words. Flushing pink, I wish to disappear. Everyone in the 10 person class probably is staring at me with disgust. Who eats their meal in class?
After consuming my first protein bar, I open the next one. Of course, this safe food item has chocolate in it. Now my classmates think that I only eat chocolate candy. Positioing my books around me like a barricade, I attempt to finish the rest of my food with grace.
Why is that we judge our food intake and assume that others do the same? After all, I rarely am repulsed by the eating habits of other people. Students who bring candy seem sweet and fun while those with pizza or sandwiches show an adventurous and vigorous spirit. Yet those same foods make me feel gross, disgusting, and gluttonous. Not until I step away from the situation does the double standard become apparent.
Days like today when I focus so deeply on my lunch, I lose the ability to communicate with others. Despite her interesting story, the guest speaker barely made an impact on me. My thoughts were too focused on my food consumption. Eating disorders truly take over your mind, emotions, and actions. Escaping from their grip is difficult but necessary for appreciating and simply seeing the world around you.
So, I cannot completely state what I saw during my lunch hour for the Weekly Writing Challenge: Lunch Post at Daily Post. All that my snack/meal was filled with was seeing my own food and panicking about the judgements of others. Sometimes I must come across a bit like Batman or Superman in this video.