“I Have Never Liked Clothing…”

I Have Never Liked Clothing

I Have Never Liked Clothing

Standing amongst my peers at theater camp, I tried to think of how to respond to the game.  We had to each say something that we had never done.  Each person who had done it then must put down a finger.  This continued until only one person was left with fingers in the game.  Sounds like a great icebreaker, right?

Nervous and mind blank, I stared at the circle of people around me.  There had to be something that I could say.  What had I, a little home-schooled teenage girl, never experienced?  So many ideas flooded into my mind, but I could barely distinguish what they were as my mind raced.  Finally, something blurted out of my mouth.

“I have never liked clothing!” Everyone took one look at me and began to laugh.

Confused, I looked at the leader who shushed the cast quickly.   Why was everyone so amused by?  All that I had done was play by the rules of the game.

Clearing his throat, the director attempted to remedy the situation.  “She means fashion.  Put down a finger if you like fashion.”

Warmth rushed up to my cheeks as I realize how people had interpreted my words.  Innocently, I had declared that I disliked wearing clothes which means that I like wearing no clothes or being…

No.  I couldn’t think it, much less say it.  This moment seared into my brain to be remembered forever.  Even now, the sound of snickering and wearied look of the director fill me with mortification.  Although it seems small and fast, this memory has become one of my most embarrassing.

Aspergers and autism cause people to be very concrete and literal.  I do not like clothing.  That is a simple statement that just states my lack of interest in fashion.  However other people do not always talk or interpret things as black and white.  Reading into statements and looking for underlying meaning is a part of everyday life that I do not understand.  Because of this, many things that others say (or even I say) go over my head.

Each day dealing with Aspergers is difficult.  You must learn to monitor your speech while analyzing everyone else’s.  Nothing is simple or obvious.  However, embarrassing moments like this become less frequent as you begin to understand yourself in relation to those around you.

This memory still haunts me.  However, I have begun to move on and give myself some grace.  So I said something stupid and weird.  That happens in life.  My intentions were innocent not perverted in any way.  Hopefully, this will not happen again.  If it does, I need to take a deep breath and recognize my Aspergian way of thinking before forgiving myself for my mistake.

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4 thoughts on ““I Have Never Liked Clothing…”

  1. Mark kent says:

    hello Anna ,i am lot older than you..been there had this happen..had this done . i have aspergers and like you i do not like wearing clothes .PEOPLE WILL LAUGH MAKE BAD JOKE..THEY ARE VERY VERY SAD REALLY SNOTTY NOSED, DO NOT aNNA BE AFRAID TOO SAY WHAT YOU FEEL//HOW YOU FEEL. IF YOU WOULD LIKE A CHAT PLEASE DO e.mail mkentdad12@outlook.com

    mark________________________________ > Date: Tue, 4 Feb 2014 14:09:27 +0000 > To: mkentdad12@outlook.com >

  2. Doug Trouten says:

    Anna Rose — I think most people have embarrassing moments that stick with them. I know that no matter what I accomplish in life, there are still times when I remember myself as I was during a particularly awkward moment from my childhood. But I need to tell you that in addition to feeling sympathy for the embarrassment you felt, I also found your story to be absolutely hilarious! I wonder how many of my own mortifying memories are actually just funny stories when seen from a different point of view? The next time a past failure or embarrassment rears its ugly head, I think I’ll try seeing whether I can find a perspective that will let me remember it with laughter, rather than with burning cheeks. Thanks for sharing this story.

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