Last May, I took a trip with my mother to London. Being abroad for the first time in the land of my dreams was one of the best experiences of my life. After leaving, I longed to return and looked for a reason to do so.
Now, I am excited to announce that I am going to be studying abroad at Oxford this May and June! When I received notification that I was accepted into the program, my heart nearly stopped. Who would have imagined that the girl who could barely walk from malnutrition, received joy only from etching lines into her skin, could not socialize with anyone, and burst into tears at the thought of leaving home would be studying across the ocean?
Last year, my school refused to let me go on a trip to study abroad in London and Rome. Although disappointing, this paved the way for a wonderful trip with my mother. Now, I am excited to me in a better place and ready to embark across the world with a classmate but independent. My fears and disorders still make every day difficult, but they no longer are holding me back or sucking away my life. Finally I am finding freedom.
So, studying in Oxford will not be easy. Evidently other students who have gone received lower grades than usual and pulled numerous all-nighters. Not only that, I will have to learn to live with a roommate again. Community life and difficult schooling stresses nearly everyone but especially terrifies perfectionists who have social anxiety. This new challenge will not be easy but will be worth it in the end.
Eating overseas makes me anxious as well. Gone will be the easy option of reading every label or having only safe food. One this trip, I will need to adapt and learn to start eating in a normal fashion. Restricting will only turn this wonderful experience into a nightmare.
Thus, I know that there will be many tough moments where I will want to give up and go home. However, this chance rarely comes in life, and I need to grab hold of it and count it as a blessing. Perhaps my GPA will suffer. Maybe I will have to eat food that terrifies me in front of other people. Rooming with someone might be uncomfortable. Yet, this experience will still be worth it if only because I can say that I have done it.
Yes, I am going to be an Oxford scholar.