Normally, I enjoy my job as a hostess at a little Greek restaurant. Smiling at each guest and looking into their eyes is difficult but simpler than I would have expected. My coworkers usually lift my spirits and make me grin with their kind words and funny stories from their lives.
However there are times when my Aspergian mind causes problems. If I offer a booth to a guest and they refuse, I struggle to make that change. When people alter my plans, everything becomes fuzzy and confusing. Even worse, if someone is rude or unwilling to listen, anger and bewilderment bubbles up inside of me. Yes, I should serve our customers. However, Aspergers often clashes with making changes and dealing with controversy. Gritting my teeth into a smile, I force myself to do what the guest wants but can no longer look at that party or talk. A wall comes between us as I attempt to be civil and continue on with my job.
In situations like this, I need to find a coping skill so I can calm down without harming myself. One of the skills that works best for me is listing the good in the situation, thing, idea, or person who is bothering me. Although this can be very difficult, it helps me to get into a better place mentally and emotionally.
Coping by listing positive aspects of something is difficult to make yourself do but simple in other ways. There is nothing needed to practice this skill; you can do it at any place at anytime. Writing it down might help, but you can also say them aloud to yourself or someone else. In fact, you can even just think of these in you head. Also, the number of items on your list is totally up to you. The number five is simply a suggestion. Whatever will help you the most and is realistic to do in the moment is the best way to do this coping skill.
After that, you simply need to look over (or think over) this list a few times. Allow it to help you reevaluate the situation. Maybe you will be able to see the people or situation in another light. If not, at least you have not given in to hatred or bitterness. This type of positivity helps me to be at peace with myself and others.
That is it. You have completed this skill. It is as simple as that.
Now, I will repeat that it is not an easy task. Doing this takes effort and a willingness to change your point of view. However, in the end, it can be a very helpful skill for the rest of your life.
- Be Too Positive by Today is the Day
- I Think You’re Awesome by A’Tru Dreamx: Round Tables & Pillow Talk
- Negativity to Positivity by Ryan’s World
- Positive Thoughts by Elsievega2