Coping Skill: #50. Being Blunt

My friend Nora from Oxford

Here is a great friend who has helped me a lot.

Despite all of the wonderful new experiences I am having in Oxford, my eating disorder and anxiety continue to creepy into my thoughts. One moment, I am laughing with friends and the next I am struggling not to jump into traffic. Over-eating has once again begun to really bother me as have other eating disorder symptoms. Even being in a place where I feel at home and so alive does not make life simple.

Today, we toured London. A year ago, my mom and I stayed in this city which filled me with love for Great Britain. However, after being in Oxford, I found myself very overwhelmed and nervous in the huge city. Although the day was lovely, my emotions began to escalate to frenzied state by the end.

Finally, down at by Piccadilly Square with a few other students, I began to cry. The cars zoomed past while I darted across the streets without obeying the traffic signs because none of my group did. My head spun a bit from hunger and lack of water. The shoes pinched my feet, and I just wanted to go back to sweet, old Oxford.

The girls who were with me instantly reached out to help, asking what would be best for me. When I responded that I just wanted to sit down and find a place to go, they all hurried over to a nearby tavern. That didn’t work out, so we ducked into a dinosaur-themed restaurant. It turned out to be great fun with fantastic staff and a charming, quirky atmosphere.

My friends took my hand or helped guide me the rest of the evening until we made it onto our bus. Although I felt silly, being blunt and admitting my needs really helped.

Sometimes the best coping skill is just being honest about what you need or are feeling. Doing this terrifies me. However, it can really help others to understand you. Plus, most people really want to be kind and supportive. They just do not know what to do unless you let them know.

This also happened last night. After a rough time, I spoke with a great friend at the house. Shame about using symptoms filled me, but instead of stuffing it inside, I admitted what had just happened. Although a bit taken aback, she responded with care and concern. Then we talked about other subjects, and she calmed me down without me even realizing.

Being too blunt can lead to hurt feelings. However, honest about what you have done or feel like can be very beneficial. With the right people, you might find that you have much more support than you had guessed.

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8 thoughts on “Coping Skill: #50. Being Blunt

  1. Cate Reddell says:

    Hey, that’s so great that you were able to reach out. I know it’s really hard. I used to really struggle with my ED if I was in a new place and out of my usual routine. I hope it settles for you soon.

  2. I find it interesting you use the word blunt. It’s a word I associate with being uncaring of another’s feelings whereas in the way you have used it it takes on more positive connotations of respecting and asserting your own needs. Expressing and being honest about your needs is an excellent coping skills and I am pleased to hear you were able to use it.
    London is an overwhelming city (and I live there!) so I suspect some of your friends will have been grateful you spoke of needing to escape the hustle and bustle for a short while because they may well have felt the same but not felt able to say.

    • That is a good point about the word blunt. It can often be viewed in a negative way. It is hard because some people need to learn to be more honest and frank while others hurt people with their blunt nature. Finding a balance is important.

  3. ladygracet says:

    Hehehe…I do not actually think that telling someone you are in pain constitutes bluntness. But It is good to be able to ask for help when you really need it. Have funny traveling and doing schoolwork. Good luck.

    • Perhaps that is true. Eh, I am not very good at being honest about certain things so it seems blunt to me. Anyway, thanks! It is going pretty well. I love it here!

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