Despite all of the wonderful new experiences I am having in Oxford, my eating disorder and anxiety continue to creepy into my thoughts. One moment, I am laughing with friends and the next I am struggling not to jump into traffic. Over-eating has once again begun to really bother me as have other eating disorder symptoms. Even being in a place where I feel at home and so alive does not make life simple.
Today, we toured London. A year ago, my mom and I stayed in this city which filled me with love for Great Britain. However, after being in Oxford, I found myself very overwhelmed and nervous in the huge city. Although the day was lovely, my emotions began to escalate to frenzied state by the end.
Finally, down at by Piccadilly Square with a few other students, I began to cry. The cars zoomed past while I darted across the streets without obeying the traffic signs because none of my group did. My head spun a bit from hunger and lack of water. The shoes pinched my feet, and I just wanted to go back to sweet, old Oxford.
The girls who were with me instantly reached out to help, asking what would be best for me. When I responded that I just wanted to sit down and find a place to go, they all hurried over to a nearby tavern. That didn’t work out, so we ducked into a dinosaur-themed restaurant. It turned out to be great fun with fantastic staff and a charming, quirky atmosphere.
My friends took my hand or helped guide me the rest of the evening until we made it onto our bus. Although I felt silly, being blunt and admitting my needs really helped.
Sometimes the best coping skill is just being honest about what you need or are feeling. Doing this terrifies me. However, it can really help others to understand you. Plus, most people really want to be kind and supportive. They just do not know what to do unless you let them know.
This also happened last night. After a rough time, I spoke with a great friend at the house. Shame about using symptoms filled me, but instead of stuffing it inside, I admitted what had just happened. Although a bit taken aback, she responded with care and concern. Then we talked about other subjects, and she calmed me down without me even realizing.
Being too blunt can lead to hurt feelings. However, honest about what you have done or feel like can be very beneficial. With the right people, you might find that you have much more support than you had guessed.