So, on Sunday I went to a pub and stayed out after midnight. For a girl who has never been in a bar before, I handled this new experience pretty well. Or at least the best possible given the circumstances.
The pub had a Celtic band, and random people would break out into Welsh song during quiet moments. Although the environment was fun and the setting quaint, there was barely any room. As the evening continued on, the room became more and more crowded. Pretty soon, several people pressed up on every side of me and my social anxiety began to increase.
All of the beer made the building begin to reek, and the heat increased to an immense amount until my head began to spin. Laughter, music, and glass clinking mingled together to create a roar. Pretty soon, I felt woozy and nauseous.
But still, the night was really fun. A fun old man (who looked oddly like Peter Pettigrew from Harry Potter) befriended us. Normally this would have frightened me. However, having nearly ten other girls around me helped. Thus, I decided to give him a chance. He ended up being a grandpa-like figure who gave us each a peck on the cheek before leaving. I can now say that I have been kissed by a British guy.
I also met some nice European guys. It was fun to learn more about their studies and ideas of life. Every person that comes through my life has something to teach me and has a good qualities that can inspire me. Thus I attempt to be open to meeting new people although social anxiety and aspergers make this difficult.
Things were going pretty well, despite the sensory stimulation making me feel sick. Then I opened my mouth and started talking stupidly about my inability to drink. At the beginning of the night, my friends got me a water. The school that I go to does not allow any student to drink alcohol. It does not matter what age you are, if you are off-campus, or if it is summer or winter break. No drinking is allowed. Many people think it is crazy that I keep this rule. However, for a black and white thinker like me, following guide lines is something that must be done. Plus, I promised to follow this when I signed a document of moral conduct. There is no way that I am going to break my word.
The German boy that I had met looked at me in disbelief. Any chance that I had of impressing him were gone. All he could think about was how on earth I could go to such a university. Stammering anxiously, I explained that I was raised a bit sheltered and was happy to be at a safe place. Silly response, but it made sense in my head.
The understanding look on his face made me realize that I made another error. Now I seemed like a childish girl who had no class or wisdom. What was I doing in Oxford? Blushing from more than the heat, I struck up a conversation with his friend and tried to pretend nothing had happened.
While we walked back to our dorms at midnight, the girls all teased me about talking to cute men. With them, my spirits began to rise. Now I can look back the situation and laugh. Sure, I am naive and a bit clueless. However, my anxiety and aspergers did not conquer me on Sunday. I really did live it large drinking water in a pub.