Coping Skills: #63. Refusing to Compromise Your Values

Cathedral in Oxford

My faith plays a large role in my values.

Yesterday, a source that I have been writing for requested me to provide material on some very raunchy and explicit themes. Nauseousness filled me as I read their themes. There was no way that I could research this information much less write material on it.

So, I responded with an apology but firm refusal before offering to write other articles instead of those. Doing this went against my fear of conflict and longing to be a people pleaser. However, the choice allowed me to exhibit strength in myself and my morals.

Compromise is often a good thing. We need to learn to work with others, or else nothing will ever be accomplished. We are taught from a young age to find a middle ground and work together.

Yet, there are times when we simply need to say “No” and stand firm in our choice. When someone is trying to hurt us or someone else, when our values are being deeply challenged, when we need to take care of ourselves – these are all some of the instances when refusal to compromise can be a good thing.

Recently, I have needed to use this coping skill in many instances. In fact, it is one that I have struggled with but also employed at numerous points in my life. Standing up for others when people are talking behind their back, not swearing even when peers pressure me to, and guarding the images that I put into my mind are a few of the recent examples from my life of refusal to compromise.

This still makes me feel super guilty. Hearing from the people that I said “No” to terrifies me. Yet, I know that my choice was right and that it came from a place of recovery.

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15 thoughts on “Coping Skills: #63. Refusing to Compromise Your Values

  1. Cozy Hannula says:

    Good for you! It’s really hard to say no, especially to superiors, but you should never compromise your value. It’s not only a coping skill but a life skill. I definitely struggle sometimes to know when it’s appropriate to confront someone about things that I don’t agree with, but it’s necessary sometimes. You should stand by your choice because it was the right choice and feel PROUD, not guilty. You should never feel guilty for doing what you feel is right!

  2. Good for you!

    A lot of people could learn to stand up for their values and learn to say no!

  3. ashokbhatia says:

    The right way to go in life!

  4. I bet they will respect your response. 🙂
    Diana xo

  5. MEM says:

    You are wise to say that your “no” comes from a place of recovery. You rock!

  6. jmgriz says:

    Make those hard choices now, and you will find your reward as you grow older…especially in the legacy you leave for those following you! 😉

  7. smotala1 says:

    I am new to your blog and this post interested me especially. Saying no, for some reason, can be one of the hardest things to do. I struggle with it a lot too. This year I have tried to work on it by thinking about all the past experiences I have had where I have said ‘no’ and the result was positive. Ironically it was mostly the times I said yes to something I did not want to do which has been most problematic. Either way well done for not compromising your values.

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