Can a Thin Person Express Worry about Weight?

My friends at Oxford

Women can quickly begin to talk about weight even beautiful ones. My classmates in Oxford were a great exception for the most part which is part of what made the trip great.

As a teenager, I never engaged in “fat talk.” My friends complained about their weight and claimed to be the largest in the room. Meanwhile, I sat slumped in the corner, wishing to disappear. What were they thinking, these girls who were at least three times tinier than me? They thought they were fat? What did that make me?

Now that I have lost weight, you would think that this type of talk would be less triggering. At least it would make sense for me to not engage with it just like I did previously. Instead, I find myself struggling not to complain about my body or vent the deep shame for taking up space.

This has led me to ponder talk about weight. Is it alright for someone who is thin or a healthy size to complain about their weight?

On one hand, these comments only led to dissatisfaction and shame. Does this gripping help anyone involved? Probably not. Girls listening compare while those talking only fret more about their appearance. “Fat talk” has become a social norm. However, that does not mean it is a positive practice.

Yet, women of all sizes and shapes struggle with body-image. Does telling them to silence this agony allow them to wallow deeper into shame? I desperately long to crawl out of my skin or chop some of it off to create a new body. How gruesome is that? No one should have to hear that. Yet, the urges are sometimes so strong that I yearn for a listening ear to get the thoughts out of my head.

So can someone – whatever size – express discomfort about weight? Well, they certainly can, but it might not always be helpful. Doing it as small talk or a throwaway comment is often damaging. However, being honest about insecurities can be powerful and healing.

I am still trying to find the line of what is recovery-focused and what is strengthening my eating disorder. Every day brings up new challenges regarding this area. Hopefully, I will keep learning when to stay silent and when to voice the shameful thoughts about my appearance.


12 thoughts on “Can a Thin Person Express Worry about Weight?

  1. mewhoami says:

    I believe that anyone who spends too much time focusing on their imperfections are doing nothing more than harming themselves. With that said, I struggle with this same thing. Although I logically know that I am not overweight, or even close, it can be hard to believe it. I constantly compare myself to others. What’s odd, is that all the people who I honestly believe to be much thinner than me, all debate that my thinking is backwards and everyone around them agrees. So I know that my body image is skewed. But I also know without a doubt that there are areas that need worked on. I’m not seeking perfection though, just want to be comfortable in my own skin.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Love you so much. I struggle with this too.
    Carolyn from EP

  3. MEM says:

    And unfortunately this challenge of women “fat talking” does not end as they get older. I have seen very slender beautiful middle-aged women complain as well. As you struggle through this now, you can be a voice of truth and self-compassion for many women for years to come. All of our bodies are beautiful, whether or not they are “perfect.”

  4. Shauna841505 says:

    I think that every woman should be able to discuss weight, or complain about it if they feel the need to. However, I think it should be in respectful terms, and you should “know” your audience. I consider myself a normal sized woman (not super thin, but not overweight). There are times where I definitely feel like I need to tone up, to feel comfortable. However, I also know my audience. If I’m around women that are much heavier than me, I would never complain. It’s about being respectful of your company.

  5. Jason Ellis says:

    When you say Thin as in you are very thin? or maybe you just have the proper built and weight. As long as you don’t get sick too often there is nothing wrong being thin. It is sexy and less problems with cholesterol and other heart ailments caused by too much fat.

    • I am not trying to berate anyone on their size. Some people are thing which is beautiful. However, it is difficult when people (especially those who do not not to lose weight) begin to complain about being “fat.”

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