So many people are struggling in the world. Just think of a five people (coworkers, friends, family, etc). Then think about what they are dealing with right now. You will probably notice that most are dealing with something difficult. Those who are not currently will in the future or did in the past; either that or you do not know about their current difficulties.
If that is the case, why are people so blind to others? How come instead of reaching out to each other, we draw back in fear? Why are others so closed to seeing the pain of those around them?
Lately, this has bothered me a great deal. Whether I am congratulating others for getting into a show and they fail to ask about me, nearly in tears over confusion with my faith, or working while others chatter with friends, I constantly feel alone. When no one reaches out to me, anger boils up inside as bitterness towards the whole human race increases.
Even more difficult is trying to love each person that I see. Reading people is difficult (thanks Asperger’s), but feeling their pain and noticing their agony is something that I am fairly good at doing. Now, I am certainly not perfect at this, but caring for others and seeing the hurting is very important to me.
At the same time, doing this is so painful. Living with the agony of others weighs me down, like Atlas holding up the world on his shoulders. However, giving up that burden, turning into someone who is nice but fails to notice the needs of others – that I refuse to do. Dying from this misery would be a better fate.
I just wish that I was not so alone in this especially at school. Saying this might open a whole can of worms, but one of the biggest problems right now is the fellow Christians in my life. They seem to think that gliding through life while saying that God has everything in control means that they do not have to try to be loving. Sorry, but if that is faith, I do not know what I believe in anymore. Writing and thinking that stabs at my heart since my Catholic faith is the core of my life. Suddenly, that feels shaken, leaving me so confused.
Back to the question of why people are blind, there are many reasons for this. Fear plays a major role for many people – fear of vulnerability, rejection, trying something new. Pride – not confidence or self-love but real pride that all of us struggle with – also factors into how people act. Others feel superior or are so caught up in their own problems that they fail to open their eyes compassionately. Selfishness, jealousy, over business, apathy – there are so many reasons for this blindness. None of them, however, pardon the offense; they are just feeble excuses.
So what can we do? Perhaps our role is sometimes to call others out and help them to see how they can love others better. Doing that would be frightening, and I for one do not have the personality or nerves that requires. Instead, I keep trying to do my part and open my eyes instead of closing them for safety or selfish purposes. Also helpful is finding friends who see your pain instead of overlooking it. Until people change their ways, that is the best we can do.