As someone with Aspergers, I tend to struggle to read social situations. People chuckle and shake their heads when sarcasm goes over my head and I respond literally to questions asked. At least that means they are enjoying my confusion. In the past (and still sometimes now), people might have scolded me or been exasperated. Now, most just see me as quirky and literal.
The other day, however, a new idea came to me: what if my way of reading people actually was useful or interesting to others? Sure, I am not always perfectly accurate. Yet, my view on social situations is unique. Sometimes I walk into a room and am bogged down by the emotions. Do I understand them? No, but I certainly feel what others are going through at the time. Even when someone says something and I misunderstand it, the situation is fascinating to analyze.
Thus, I am planning to do some posts from now on about how I understand people and social situations. Maybe you will find them helpful, relatable, or simply amusing. Theses posts are meant to give you a little look into my Aspie mind. Please know, however, that I do not speak for everyone with Aspergers or Autism. These are simply musings from my own experiences.
What Makes Guys Uncomfortable: When a girl belittles her appearance (calls herself ugly, fat, etc.)
Girls often gather together to lament their appearances. Sure, they reassure their friends about being beautiful. However, it has always annoyed me how women critique themselves so harshly. At first, this behavior made me seriously worried that every woman hated herself. Now, I realize that this is a social behavior that is acceptable in our society. It bothers me greatly, but that is a topic for another blog.
Before struggling with anorexia, I never engaged in these conversations. Now, my response is to assure the other girls about their beauty while harshly criticizing my own. Although I am trying not to complain about my body, the urge to spout hateful words about myself is very strong. Women who hear me are quick to negate my remarks, praise my appearance, and chide my sentiments.
Men have a oddly different response. Instead of challenging me, they usually become (what I can only assume is) uncomfortable. Shuffling of feet, lowering of eyes, laughing nervously, inching away, changing the subject, scratching of the neck – all of those are the typical male responses to my words of self-hatred.
Odd, isn’t it? I am not quite sure why this phenomenon happens. However, it seems to me that one of the best ways to make a guy uncomfortable is for a woman to berate her appearance. Not that I am suggesting doing that. The result simply interests me.