Ten Reasons I See Myself As Better and Worse Than Others

Me at Goodwill

We have reasons why we are better/worse humans even if we do not realize them.

At my university’s chapel yesterday, the speaker gave an amazingly candid and thought-provoking exercise for us to do. “List the reasons why you think that you are a better person or Christian than others. Then list the reasons why you are worse.”

Even more shockingly, he went on to list some of his reasons. I similarly made lists in my notebook. Looking back at the items was a strong jolt of reality for me. Pride and superiority is a far bigger issue in my life than I ever realized. In fact, all of us seem to battle this more than we want to admit even if it is hidden in the guise of self-hate.

Sharing this list is very frightening. Maybe you will think that I am an awful person now. Just know that I am very sorry for thinking in such a way and am resolved to work to alter my view. We are all humans, not better or worse than each other. None of these statements are true despite what I unknowingly thought for years.

Reasons I think that I am better

  1. I work hard at my job and school.
  2. I try to get perfect grades and normally succeed.
  3. I have never done drugs.
  4. I have not drank.
  5. I have never smoked.
  6. I do not swear or say words that I think are dirty.
  7. I enjoy studying and learning.
  8. I grew up in the country and love to be outside.
  9. I work to earn my own money instead of relying on my parents (not entirely true even).
  10. I feel guilty easily.

Reasons I think that I am worse

  1. I do not understand many social interactions.
  2. I have a hard time eating or over-eating food.
  3. I am scared of relationships and do not know if I want to get married.
  4. I am Catholic and confused about aspects of my faith.
  5. I am not good at exercising.
  6. I struggle to take care of myself even in simple ways like taking baths, brushing my hair, and wearing makeup.
  7. I am depressed often.
  8. I am not thin enough.
  9. I am not strong enough to face life or kill myself.
  10. I have thoughts about hurting myself and others which are very troubling.

I feel sick looking at those lists, but making them was a relief. Hopefully, you will not hate me now. If so, I am sorry for the pain that I caused. All that I can do now is realize my mistaken thoughts and strive to change them. What about your lists? Do you have thoughts that might need to be challenged?

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4 thoughts on “Ten Reasons I See Myself As Better and Worse Than Others

  1. MEM says:

    Dear rose with Thorns,
    It is humbling to openly admit our personal faults and weaknesses to others, particularly in hopes that it will be helpful to others to know that they are not alone. We all have these lists – for best and for worse. I admire you for your courageous humility to write this post. May it bear fruit for others as they assess themselves more honestly. Remember always that you were created in love by God, the Amazing Creator of the Universe, and your are always loved, no matter what.

    • Thank you so very much! It is frightening to be so open about a list like this. However, I think that keeping these secret (especially from ourselves) just makes them grow stronger.

  2. Why would anyone hate you for being honest? I would say you are brave for sharing these lists.

    And I agree with you, most of us probably struggle with pride, or false humility. None of us are perfect but we need to embrace all of who we are, because…well we’re worth being loved. ❤
    Diana xo

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