For the first time today, I realized one of the reasons I struggle talking with God: He is so abstract.
“Just get to know Him,” my friends at school said.
Sure, but how do you get to know someone? By talking to that person and asking questions. However, I have a hard time asking questions when I am not sure of a response. Am I making up a response in my head? I did that for years. Now, talking to God terrifies me because I do not know if it is me or Him answering.
God is such an abstract concept. No wonder it is easier to find something tangible to place one’s faith in – a statue, science, a person. Many religions, including Christianity, have symbols so that the faith is less abstract. Still, there is an inability to have a sensory experience that makes having faith hard.
I then wondered, is this an Aspie problem? Am I just weird, or do others with similar brains struggle with this? I know that many people have a hard time with the concept of God, but do people on the Autistic scale have more trouble than average with this abstract concept?
Even more importantly for me, can I come to firmly trust in such an abstract concept? I do want to but have trouble many times. Realizing this today was both a relief and huge burden. Finally, some of my struggles with faith make sense. However, it is hard to know if there is hope. I just feel so lost and confused.