When I am different than others, it scares me.
What do they think of me? Are they judging how I look or who I am? How can I not draw attention to myself?
I have tried to be normal and blend in, but this always fails dramatically. Instead, I must learn to deal with being different and caring for those who are not like me.
One way that this shows up is in appearance. If I meet people who are all wearing super long skirts while I sport a shorter dress or dressed in black while I am in bright pink, I feel like they are mad or disgusted with me.
Yesterday, some girls with hijabs came over to ask me a question. Right away, I regretted my long hair that streamed down my back and framed my face. They must think I was shameful.
Instead, they sweetly asked their question and thanked me for my answer. Before leaving, one of the girls smiled brightly and said, “You are so beautiful.”
Shocked and touched, I responded honestly, “So are you!”
Our eyes met as we both saw the inner girl in the other who was not really so different. Then she walked away with her party.
Yes, we were different. However, I am learning not to be afraid of that. Difference is both scary and beautiful, dangerous and daring, a chance for new beginnings but able to bring about tragic endings. It might not be comfortable, but it is something that everyone must learn to deal with in life.