Lately, I have been eating enough food again. Maybe even too much, my brain keeps fearing.
However, part of me still is starving. I look at food and think that I need it to stay alive. I constantly think of my next meal. Food, weight, health, food…this runs through my mind all day.
How long does it take for an eating disorder to heal? Forever? Sometimes, I feel ready to just give up and not eat. Or give up and overeat. Either way would be easier than this awful middle place.
Yet, I continue to try staying strong. Am I slipping a bit today? Sure, but I will not fall. Food is harder than anyone around me could imagine. Still, they do not need to heal me. I need to do that myself.
Bit by bit, bite by bite, bound by bound, I am making my way to a healthier place in life.