Why is it that I can accomplish nothing with all of the time that I have? Why is it that when you are depressed, getting even the littlest thing done feels like you moved the Great Wall of China to New York City?
I want to write but only have words when I am going on walks. I want to perform but am too scared to audition. I want to work and think that I have a job but hate waiting to know my first day.
Lack of money, motivation, and structure are sucking away my hope. I am trying as hard as I can at the moment, but that must not be hard enough. What more can be done?
On top of that, eating has been miserable. I want to eat healthy amounts but know that I am using food to cope with being lonely, lost, and ashamed. I hate how I look and feel so embarrassed of myself.
With all the time that I have, I should be devoting more to this blog. I am sorry that I have failed. Right now, it seems like I cannot do anything right.
This should end on a positive note, but I cannot think of anything at the moment. I’m sorry. Maybe tomorrow will be better?