Just when you conquer one type of symptom, another one seems to arrive. Either that or a whole new disorder itself.
Life is so wearying sometimes. I am tired of vaulting between not eating and over eating and getting rid of food. All of it is just too much.
My hope is that having a stable job again in a week or less will help with that. Right now, I just feel lost and bored. Thus, turning to old habits is the best way to numb the pain.
How do people with good mental health cope with life? I have always wondered that. Just for a day, it would be nice to live like that. No depression dragging me down to an ocean of despair, no anxiety hissing lies in my ears, no eating disorder weighing my every choice and ounce, no PTSD dashing away with me from every stranger.
Just myself. Healthy, normal, rational, calm. What would that be like?
Maybe one day, I will find out. Even if I don’t, there is no need to give up on living a peaceful, joyful life. Mental illness makes that harder but not impossible.
These new symptoms (or rather returned ones) might be a setback, but they are not my end. This will not finish me.