I am sorry, neighbors, that I look at you with terrified eyes when you try to say “Hi” while I am walking. That I rapidly turn and scurry in the other direction when I see you even begin to leave your front door. That I would rather pass by a huge black snake than you and your dog.
I am sorry, neighbors, that social anxiety seizes me and propels me away from other humans. That my heart begins to shake whenever I see a car drive by me. That I envision each person around kidnapping, torturing, and killing me.
I am sorry, neighbors, that I am too scared to find a new place to walk, so I walk in circles around just one block for an hour. That I scowl when your dog begins to bark at me and brings attention to my presence. That my head is always down looking at the music on my phone so that I do not need to interact with others.
One day, I hope to be that neighbor that introduces herself to others. Who bakes cookies to welcome new people into the neighborhood like we did when I was little. Who is known for her quick smile and kindness.
Until then, I will be the weird person who keeps going on walks and avoids all humans. Until then.