Living in recovery (or at least attempting to) is strange. At times, the current sweeps you under and pins you under the water until you feel your lungs about to burst. Other times, the water seems like a calm pool, perhaps even enjoyably cool and refreshing.
Then there are days, weeks, months, years when you are just treading the water. You aren’t about to drown, but your feet certainly do not touch the ground to stabilize you. Each recovery-based choice takes considerable effort and seems like a waste most of the time. However, making those healthy choices is not impossible.
Sometimes, I feel like all of my life is spent treading water. Sure, there are moments my feet seem to hit the shore. Then, I realize that it was simply an uprooted tree or slippery fish which cause me to panic and slip deeper into one of my disorders.
Yet even if my life is spent this way, my pursuit of recovery and health is not in vain. After all, I am moving forward in numerous ways such as having a job, living away from home, and meeting new people. Also, no amount of effort towards recovery should be belittled. Even minimal progress counts.
Therefore, if you are treading the water, do not give up. We can do it together. Some days I might be able to touch to sandy bottom if I stretch out my toes, and then I can encourage you. Other times, you might be the one who needs to exert less effort, and you can cheer me on instead. Either way, we are not alone in this.
Even if I tread water until the last day of my life, I will keep fighting for myself and others. Giving up hope only means giving in to the current.