Coming Back Stronger than Before

Cinderella

Disneybounding as Cinderella

I am not even sure how to start this exactly. The wait between these posts (both for you reading and me writing) has been far too long.

Life has been a bit hectic and full of changes lately. Since my last post in June (forever ago, I know), I have been offered a new job which I will be leaving the country for in a few months. After years of dreaming and doubting myself, I am going to be teaching English in China. Better yet, the Disney company will still be my employer.

The joy of taking this new step in life comes hand-in-hand with the fear of change. Am I really moving to a country across the world that I have never been to before? How will I learn Mandarin that quickly? How will I survive without my family and friends? How will I ever be confident enough to teach?

These thoughts and more plague me. However, I am ready to take off on this new adventure or at least in the process of getting ready. Preparation for this job is so much work! I am drained trying to do it as well as work a full-time job. Sometimes, my depression tells me just to give up on all of it. After all, I could be a worthless instructor. There was a reason that I changed my major from Education to English.

However, this opportunity reminds me of how much I love to learn and how that love can be imparted to others. Also, I deeply care for children and enjoy watching them grow. Plus, adventure and experiencing other cultures are things that I am scared of but desperately desire. Therefore, this new job will be wonderful – terribly hard at times, but wonderful nonetheless.

Looking back to a year ago, I realize how far I have come. Looking at Facebook’s memories is a good way for me to see concretely where I was a year or more ago. It always shocks me how much I have matured over time.

Two days ago, I saw a picture of myself from a year ago that shocked me and brought an ocean of memories crashing back down onto me. I haven’t talked about this on my blog and don’t intend to delve into it in depth now, but a year ago from the 27th, I met a man who later assaulted me. The things he did and words he said still haunt me today. If I could go back and not meet him, I would quickly.

However, that girl a year ago is now a far stronger woman. That horrible event did not shatter me like I thought it would. I continued to work, continued to smile, continued to care for others. Now, I have worse PTSD but also am smarter and more prepared. I would not want that event to happen again but know that I am wiser and possibly safer because of it.

It is amazing how someone can come back stronger than before, but that has been much of the story of my life. I hope to come back to this blog in that way too. I am stronger and will continue to become more so with my journey to China.

 

Advertisements

16 thoughts on “Coming Back Stronger than Before

  1. mewhoami says:

    Wow! What an amazing opportunity. Congratulations! I can’t wait to ride along with you during this new journey. How fascinating it will be, I’m sure. And you’ll do great!

  2. 80smetalman says:

    Well done for all you’ve accomplished and it’s great to see you back! I wish you all the best for your adventure in China.

  3. slesser1013 says:

    I’m glad your back, I missed reading your posts 🙂 Im so happy for you. I hope you have a wonderful time teaching those children. You are going to be great…

  4. Good to have you back! Congrats on your new job. How exciting!!

  5. Congratulations on both your new job and on not letting that horrible incident last year get the better of you. Teaching English in China sounds like such an adventure. Honestly I don’t know if I would be brave enough to do something like that, so kudos to you! All the best to you on this upcoming new phase in your life. xx

  6. My Administrator told me bloggers come and go so not to get attached. So glad to read your post. Good news, disturbing news however you seem to have come out the other side stronger, as you say. Great news, hopefully you will keep us all in the loop. Good luck!

  7. Rachel says:

    Congratulations on the job! I haven’t taught ESL (although I’ve taught other languages), but I’ve had relatives teach English in China as well as South Korea. I look forward to hearing about your adventures there!

  8. kurtnemes says:

    Dear Anna Rose. Congratulations. What a wonderful opportunity for you!My first career was in ESL and I taught in Algeria and then got a Fulbright to teach teachers how to teach English as a Foreign Language. In 2014, my daughter followed in my footsteps and went to Xi’an, China to teach ESL for a year. We visited her in September of that year. Amazing place–Great Wall, Terra Cotta Warriors, Beijing, bullet trains, and Hong Kong. You will grow and become strong. I am sorry to hear of your assault, depression, and PTSD. My wife was sexually assaulted as a child by a neighbor, and I have struggled with depression over the years as well. I hope this last week wasn’t too difficult with what’s going on in the news. What has helped both my wife and me is meditation, therapy, writing, teaching and lecturing about our struggles. Keep writing. It can be hard, but it will help with the healing! All the best. Kurt

Please share your thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s