Unconditional Love #Autism

annarosemeeds:

I relate to this post so much. It is hard not to take things to an extreme and forget to balance life by caring for yourself. Wonderful blog!

Originally posted on Gretchen Leary:

I have always wanted to make a difference.

As a child, when I saw another child being bullied, I would sit beside them. I didn’t know how to make friends. To be honest, I’m not sure I ever will but that wasn’t why I sat beside them. I sat beside them because I felt this physical pain when I saw someone else in pain.

As a teenager, I would do random things like put my spare change on top of pay phones with a note that said “Pay it forward.” I was so determined to simply make a difference in someone else’s life. I was mocked for bringing my Bible to school, bullied for not ever fitting in….My clothes never quite seemed to be good enough. I thought I needed to be popular to have friends as I went from school to school. It never happened and I usually had…

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Social Observations From an Aspie: What Makes Guys Uncomfortable 1

Boys in The Yellow Boat

Most of the boys who were in The Yellow Boat with me last spring

As someone with Aspergers, I tend to struggle to read social situations. People chuckle and shake their heads when sarcasm goes over my head and I respond literally to questions asked. At least that means they are enjoying my confusion. In the past (and still sometimes now), people might have scolded me or been exasperated. Now, most just see me as quirky and literal.

The other day, however, a new idea came to me: what if my way of reading people actually was useful or interesting to others? Sure, I am not always perfectly accurate. Yet, my view on social situations is unique. Sometimes I walk into a room and am bogged down by the emotions. Do I understand them? No, but I certainly feel what others are going through at the time. Even when someone says something and I misunderstand it, the situation is fascinating to analyze.

Thus, I am planning to do some posts from now on about how I understand people and social situations. Maybe you will find them helpful, relatable, or simply amusing. Theses posts are meant to give you a little look into my Aspie mind. Please know, however, that I do not speak for everyone with Aspergers or Autism. These are simply musings from my own experiences.

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How Do You Respond to That?

Looking in the Mirror

How do you respond to certain comments especially when they make you question your worth?

Preparing for my audition for being a Disney character or performing tomorrow has been very stressful. Although excited, I am terrified. After all, the other girls will be thinner, prettier, more talented, and sweeter than me. That keeps repeating in my head.

Hearing the responses of my friends and family to this big event has been both helpful and disheartening.  Most people have given me great encouragement. Others promise to pray or think about me. Even my coworkers warnings about safety or horror stories all come out of a place of being helpful.

Still, I do not want to get my hopes to high. After all, this program will be amazing even if I am not a character. Sure, that is part of my dream, but I will love working attractions too. There is not a loss just because I am not cast as a princess. That is what I keep trying to remember.

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Top Ten Signs of Discontent

Me in black and white

Are you struggling with being discontent?

I am discontent with my life. Today, that realization dawned upon me. So many times, my mind turns to what is wrong with myself and the situations that I am in instead of being content with the journey of each day.

Being discontent takes root in many ways and can change with each moment. I am anxious with people but lonely alone, nervous with romantic feelings but unloved single, stressed busy but bored without plans, etc. The list of my fickle discontent goes on much longer than I care to admit.

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Why Are People So Blind to Others?

Who Will Love Me

The biggest disease this day and age is that of people feeling unloved. – Princess Diana

So many people are struggling in the world. Just think of a five people (coworkers, friends, family, etc). Then think about what they are dealing with right now. You will probably notice that most are dealing with something difficult. Those who are not currently will in the future or did in the past; either that or you do not know about their current difficulties.

If that is the case, why are people so blind to others? How come instead of reaching out to each other, we draw back in fear? Why are others so closed to seeing the pain of those around them?

Lately, this has bothered me a great deal. Whether I am congratulating others for getting into a show and they fail to ask about me, nearly in tears over confusion with my faith, or working while others chatter with friends, I constantly feel alone. When no one reaches out to me, anger boils up inside as bitterness towards the whole human race increases.

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Top Ten Quotes on Aspergers and Autism

The Emphatic Aspergian

The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy. – Meryl Streep

When someone begins to talk about Aspergers or autism, I have learned to prepare by taking a deep breath. Whether it is to complain about a friend whose kid has that awful condition or a child who had trouble making friends for a year but now is cured, the things that people say regarding people on this side of the autism spectrum are often incorrect and a bit irritating.

There are many helpful quotes, however, that I find inspiring. Aspergers is inconvenient but brings great traits along with the struggles. Hopefully, you will see that with these quotes.

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Everyone Has a Story to Tell

Black and white photo of me

Opening up and saying your story are not an easy tasks.

Writing is simple. Just type words onto a page, and there you are. Writing.

Good writing is more difficult. Character, style, grammar, inspiration, humor, honesty, clarity, research – there are so many components to creating any type of written work – fiction or nonfiction, creative or academic, comedic or tragic. Still, with proper training and natural skills, people can begin to type on a blank document with their brain dials only turned to 50 percent.

Telling your story, however, is much more difficult. More frightening. More time consuming. And more rewarding.

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Is Calling Someone a Name Ever Ok?

Recently, I have called someone (other than my siblings) a negative word several times. To his face.

“You are kind of selfish,” followed a few weeks later by “You are a real jerk,” and finished up with “You are delusional.”

Thinking about this is rather shameful for me. Sure, the words were not horrendous. I did not curse or degrade him hatefully. My tone of voice was exasperated and frustrated, yes, but not spiteful or cruel.

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The Most Beautiful Phrase on Earth: “That’s What I’m Here For”

Friends

With my friend Jess

While cleaning at my job, a coworker gave me advice that I have heard all of my life: “You need to stop letting people take advantage of you.”

Being honest instead of glossing over my words is one of my strong suits. Thanks, Aspergers. So my answer was simple: “My brain does not think like that, so I usually do not even realize what is happening until it is too late.”

Instead of laughing or changing the subject, my friend looked me straight in the eyes and said, “That’s what I’m here for.”

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What to Do When You Don’t Trust Your Doctor

“You did gain weight since I last weighed you.” My dietitian finally admitted this morning. “What has been happening differently?”

I wanted to scream. For the past months, she has listened to me moan about my fear of gaining weight and heard me say that I have put on more than my goal amount. However, she never believed me.

“That is just your eating disorder talking,” was her typical response. However, I am not stupid. My clothing feels different, my body looks different, and people talk about my appearance differently. Sure, I am paranoid about my weight, but something is certainly happening. Now she acts surprised when I have been trying to tell her this every meeting.

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