Imagine meeting an old group of friends or classmates. One person constantly belittled and even bullied others while growing up. Now, she listens well and even apologized for past actions. Another person, on the other hand, was shy and insecure. He still struggles to speak and usually complains about himself when he does speak.
Situations like this happen to me all of the time although not always in the same day. I meet people from the past who have changed tremendously while others are nearly identical. The questions arise, “Do people change? Can someone move on from the past? Are some people able to forget who they were?”
I am not even sure how to start this exactly. The wait between these posts (both for you reading and me writing) has been far too long.
Life has been a bit hectic and full of changes lately. Since my last post in June (forever ago, I know), I have been offered a new job which I will be leaving the country for in a few months. After years of dreaming and doubting myself, I am going to be teaching English in China. Better yet, the Disney company will still be my employer.
The joy of taking this new step in life comes hand-in-hand with the fear of change. Am I really moving to a country across the world that I have never been to before? How will I learn Mandarin that quickly? How will I survive without my family and friends? How will I ever be confident enough to teach?
This sassy duck does not let anyone who doesn’t respect her into her life.
So much of my time is spent wondering how I am going to say “No” to someone. How will I let him down carefully? How do I keep her from getting angry at me? How do I get out of a situation without having to be obvious?
People are constantly telling me to give others a chance. We are often told not to “judge a book by its cover” and to “take time to really know a person.”
Those words of advice are very helpful in many situations. Yet, these wise sayings do not mean you need to say “Yes” or let everyone into your life. Sometimes, saying “No” is the safest and healthiest option.
This relates so much to how I feel. Some days, I know where life is taking me and am confident in that. Most days, however, are still filled with doubt about the future. And that is okay, I think. At least, it is fine for now.
If I had one single dream, there is no doubt that I’d chase it ferociously. Thing is, I have too many that I can’t articulate, so I find myself stuck. I love fashion, I love writing, I love photography, I love music and gardening and painting and people and…and…and…
I’ve always struggled with this- with having to define myself into one mold. (Which is probably why I’m 28 with an undeclared major.) There are just so many things that interest me, how is a person to only pick one to succeed at? To support their family with?
I was watching some documentary about these people who were so passionate about mountaineering they made it their life’s work to summit the worlds tallest mountains. This was their specific passion even though alarmingly dangerous, and they took it very seriously. In a country where you can pretty much do and become whatever…
Being agreeable and getting along with others has always been important to me.
Sure, I was the shy, antisocial girl who answered too many questions in class and barely talked in the hall. Peers stopped talking when I entered the room, believing me too naive to handle anything slightly inappropriate. Others giggled at my lack of social skills or complained to my face about strange traits.
Still, I wanted others to like me. This continues to be a goal of mine. The more people who like me, the better. Even if I do not like the other person, I hope he or she respects and enjoys me.
Everyone struggles with pain. It can be mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, ect. There are different variances in how strong the pain is, but we all suffer. This is a great post about what pain can teach us.