“There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self.” – Benjamin Franklin
You know yourself better than any other human.
Sounds simple, right? Why is it then that I find this so hard to remember? I look to others to tell me what I do well, how I look (or how I should look), and who I should become. When I need approval, I don’t even try to rely on myself. Instead, a friend or family member is sure to boost my self-esteem.
Or at least, that is how it has worked most of my life. A time arrives, however, when people around you belittle instead of charm, critique instead of comfort, and ignore instead of notice. Suddenly, you are forced to look at yourself in the mirror in confusion, wondering who you are without the words of others. Or perhaps, wondering if the bitter, nastier labels they stuck on you are the reality of your character.
I am not even sure how to start this exactly. The wait between these posts (both for you reading and me writing) has been far too long.
Life has been a bit hectic and full of changes lately. Since my last post in June (forever ago, I know), I have been offered a new job which I will be leaving the country for in a few months. After years of dreaming and doubting myself, I am going to be teaching English in China. Better yet, the Disney company will still be my employer.
The joy of taking this new step in life comes hand-in-hand with the fear of change. Am I really moving to a country across the world that I have never been to before? How will I learn Mandarin that quickly? How will I survive without my family and friends? How will I ever be confident enough to teach?
46. Fairy Godmother: I always wanted to meet her and stumbled across her one day. Our interaction was very rushed, but I still loved her bright smile and sweet words. She taught me that sometimes we need help to follow our dreams but we all have beauty inside us and the ability to go farther than we ever believed. Continue reading →
Just knowing Christmas is tomorrow was hard for me. All day, I felt lost and sad that I could not be with my family. Not only would my sisters, brother, and parents be celebrating, my dad’s parents and his family would be getting together as they do each Christmas Eve.
Thus, I went to Epcot feeling very down. “God, please let me have a magical moment today,” I prayed. “Please grant me some special love. I really need it right now.”