A healthy outside starts from the inside. – Robery Urich
If someone were to ask me to define myself, one of the first adjectives that would pop into my head would be “sick.” Since before I can remember, I have struggled with physical, mental, and emotional illnesses. However, I went largely untreated until the age of twelve. Right after my birthday, my family finally realized that something about me was not normal. For months, doctors and their assistants interrogated me with awkward questions, performed frightening tests, and stared me down. Former worries I had about being abnormal were confirmed as I had an MRI scan, ultrasound, analyzing for schizophrenia, allergy shots, speech therapy, medication prescriptions, occupational therapy, and much more.
Now, years later, I still struggle with my health. Sure, my asthma and allergies are much better but I still struggle with depression, sleep, head aches, self-injurious behavior, and anxiety. Other diagnoses have been added to my list including Aspergers, Anorexia Nervousa, PTSD, and possibly OCD. When I think about this list of problems, I mourn for my poor patient family. Why did they have to have child like me? Will I ever make it up to them?