Can Someone Objectify You Based on Purity?

FlowerThroughout youth group and college chapels, the ideas of modesty and purity were drilled into my head. Even at a younger age, I was already being told what I shouldn’t do or wear or say. Being good was one of my main goals in life, so I took all of these lessons extremely seriously and still do.

However, one talk that no one in my youth group ever gave me was how to stay safe. No one spoke about abuse, assault, or manipulation at my university. If the concept of safety even came up, it was quickly glossed over as one of the pros of being modest or acting like a good girl. Thus, all I could discern about staying safe was the more innocent and pure I was, the safer I would stay.

Continue reading

Advertisements

It’s Not a Big Deal…Or Is It?

It's Not You, It's My PTSD

Memories haunt, words remind, fears remain, but I will survive.

When people warned me that he wasn’t a good friend, I just smiled sheepishly and shrugged. Sure, he was not perfect. Yet, a quirky, introverted, socially-anxious preteen girl took the friends she could get. So, I told myself repeatedly, “It’s not a big deal.”

It’s not a big deal if he tells me to shut up. I do talk too much.

It’s not a big deal if he belittles my dreams. They won’t come true anyway.

It’s not a big deal if he slaps my face. It was a gentle hit to keep me from being too weird.

Continue reading

Please Don’t Touch Me

It's Not You, It's My PTSD

Memories haunt, words remind, fears remain, but I will survive.

Lately, having people touch me has terrified me. At work is especially hard. People grab my arm or touch my shoulder, making me cringe and long to run.

PTSD is rearing its ugly head again. Should people grab a stranger? No. Am I being overly sensitive? A bit. Is it normal to react this way because of my anxiety? Certainly.

Continue reading

Red Flags You are Dating an Abuser

It is important to take a look at this list not only for yourself but others in your life. The sad truth is that many women and men are in abusive relationships. Also, more men and women are abusive than they might even know. We need to deal with this issue instead of ignoring it.

Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse

Here is a list of red flags that may help you to see early on that you are with an abusive personality. If you are seeing a few of these characteristics then you need to assert some boundaries with them and see how they react.

If they fight you about having simple personal boundaries then you need to realize that you may be in an abusive relationship. 

Tell them you have to go sleep early one night because you have a lot to do the next day. If they do not accept this, then there is a problem.

No one should give you guilt or shame you that you are not good to them, when you are doing simple basic things to take care of yourself.

It is not normal for someone to threaten to leave you or call you a bad girlfriend if you want to do things for…

View original post 686 more words

Growing Up to Be Your Parents

Many people claim that you grow up to be like your parents. This might excite or terrify you. However you feel, just observing other families can show that genes are passed down and shown in different parts of a child’s personality.

If you had parents that you admired, perhaps you always wanted to be like them and looked forward to being in a similar place of life. That can bring great joy for the future.

Continue reading

Listaliciousness: Traffic Cone Interviews, Dogs in a Photobooth, and Realistic Heroines

Just two days until the preview of Narnia! That is practically our opening night because we will have a full house just like all of the other evenings and afternoons. I can’t wait to upload pictures of my beautiful costume. Only a few days more to wait.

Anyway, there are lots of great links this week. Many are focused on health issues such as eating disorders, abuse, and Lyme disease. However, others center on fun topics like rumors about the upcoming Harry Potter spinoff. Enjoy!

Continue reading

Listaliciousness: Allergy-Free Plants, Themed Weddings, and Twitter Birthday Surprises

Ready for this weeks links? These are full of hope with the coming of spring, flowers, weddings, and babies. Funny how most of them seem to fit into that mood and category.

Before the list, however, I wanted to let you know that I feel bad about how moody I’ve been. Perhaps you haven’t noticed it, but maybe you did. This past week was difficult. Maybe this one will be simpler. If not, I will try to respond with more grace and optomisim than I have been lately. Thank you all for your support. That is one thing that I can count on even when the rest of my life melts into a gooey mess.

Continue reading

It’s On Us: Bonding Together to Protect

When someone is harmed, who do we blame? Usually the person who committed the wrongdoing and potentially the person who was hurt.

However, what about the people who stand and watch without helping? What about those who pretend nothing is wrong or never care to ask? What about those so concerned with their own lives that they do not stand up for the needs of others?

It is time for us to take a stand and bond together for protection. The “It’s On Us” campaign is trying to do that in the area of rape and other types of assault. This video moved me to sign the petition and join the cause.

Continue reading

Listaliciousness: WW2 Christmas Ad, Prison Dance, and the Cinderella Movie

It's Not You, It's My PTSD

Memories haunt, words remind, fears remain, but I will survive.

Today was extremely stressful. Work has highly triggered my PTSD to the point where I feel almost unable to cope. However, I am hanging in there and trying to remain calm. Wonderful friends helped today to be better as well as my managers. Still, others do not understand mental illness and grow frustrated with my inability to be “normal” or just take a joke.

Anyway, here are some links for you. Finding them was a bit more difficult this week for some reason. Instead of looking at the rest of the web, I focused on WordPress. Most of them are from bloggers that I greatly respect. Hopefully you will enjoy the articles.

Continue reading

Evil Is Not Just Murder

Am I in Trouble?

There is such a thing as evil around us.

Evil is a terrifying and powerful word. Rarely would I use it to describe a person. Hitler, Stalin, Attila – there are people from history that others will bring up as examples of evil. However, even then, something in me falters. Using that descriptor seems hateful and condemning even if the person did awful things. Then again, I am the girl who winces when orcs die in The Lord of the Rings because I wish they would have repented and turned good.

However, people usually declare that murder, rape, abuse, and kidnapping are evil. There are few things that we all agree upon as a society, but being against these actions seems to be one of our similarities. You can argue what that means to different people (for example, when is killing in self-defense or war justified), but the general rejection of these actions carries through most (if not all) cultures and societies despite different laws, values, and religions.

Continue reading