There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. ― Steve Maraboli
Two weeks into Lent, I am having nearly 100 percent of my meal plan every day. Giving up restriction has been simpler than I thought. At the same time, it has been miserably hard. Sometimes, I just want to scream and go back to starving myself.
One of the hardest elements is the constant nagging voice in the back of my head. “You are so fat,” it hisses. Anytime that I sit down, see myself in the mirror, look at my body, or feel my clothing on my skin, I feel nauseous. How can I live in this body for the rest of my life?
“Lose weight in 10 days without trying!” “Eliminate these five simple foods for a better shape in a week!” “Make dieting easy by trying our new supplement!”
We are surrounded by headlines such as these every day. Magazines at the grocery store, ads on television and even comments from friends repeat such phrases. The words and instructions might be different, but the message remains the same; you need to lose weight quickly.
However, do such diets as advertised really work? No, not for the most part. There are certainly exceptions, but fad diets tend to be backed by poor scientific research and have no lasting results. In fact, these programs designed to make us healthy often backfire and cause discomfort, further medical issues or eating disorders.
My first memory is from when I was two-years-old and heard a voice singing outside my window. The instant that I looked around for the voice, no one was to be seen. That moment terrified me more than anything else in my life and impacts me still today. For years, I continued to hear music when alone. You can read more about that here.
Around the age of twelve, voices joined in with the music, leaving me confused but oddly peaceful. When I finally told my mother, she panicked. Dozens of medical appointments and tests followed where professionals attempted to understand what was wrong with me. Finally, a doctor diagnosed me with depression with psychotic.
Looking back, I am not sure what to think about the voices and other noises that I heard. Was it my vivid imagination? Did they have a purpose in my life? What was the proper response to them? I will probably never know. However, this video about voices impacted me strongly.