I am certainly not in a plane like the nice ones that I rode to Oxford.
This semester is starting off like an airplane that is catapulted into the sky instead of starting from the ground slowly. I feel both invigorated and exhausted. Part of me worries about the future if I continue on in this fashion. However, the thrill of being busy and learning so much is almost addictive. Because of that, I wanted to share what my Monday, Wednesday, and Friday schedule will be. Although it is only the first day of school, the feeling that these classes will be impacting my blog keeps tickling my brain.
First, my day starts at 9:10 when I have Systematic Theology which covers why we believe what we do as well as forcing us to do theology. The idea of actually figuring out and studying what I hold as true is frightening and also exciting.
After this, my university has mandatory chapel. This might involve singing, a speaker, and/or community prayer. In one sense, it is relaxing. Yet, part of me becomes antsy as I long to do something and worry about my daily tasks and homework.
Beauty has always been the perfect unattainable dream for me. As a little girl, I dreamed of men fighting for my hand like in the fairy tales that I read. Compliments on my looks elated but also scared me because I feared not being pretty enough. When I walk across a busy street, part of me longs for everyone to gasp in amazement. Of course, the other half of my mind screams for me to run and hide. Yet I still want to look graceful and elegant if I choose to flee.
This longing for attractiveness is not simply superficial. I have equated beauty with goodness since childhood. With the stories I immersed myself in, I learned that the lovely heroines remained shy and pure yet always found their true love. Now, I still love fairy tales and the classics I read. However, my Aspergian brain took this connection literally; good is pretty and bad is ugly.
The other day, however, I was confronted with an example of true beauty that shocked and touched me. Ever since than, I have been eager to share this story. Hopefully, you will also be inspired by this amazing example.