For the Times When Others Don’t Get It – A Letter to Special Needs Parents

Olaf cupcake

Olaf reminds us to “Let it Go.”

This inspired me greatly. So often we judge or fail to forgive. This letter reminds us to be kind and let go of our pent-up anger.

Here is a link: For the Times When Others Don’t Get It. Enjoy and pass on this wonderful letter.

Three Positive Things to Say to Those Who are Suffering ~ Power Punch!

Wow, these are great things to say to anyone in pain of any kind. I want to use these more often in my life when I meet others. We could all do to say and hear these more often.

Eyes Wide Open

boy-447701_640

A long time ago, someone shared with me that one of the most loving things we can do for others is to tell them what we need. It gives others the same opportunity to show grace and love and care that we ourselves have when they do the same for us. If we withhold, we rob others of that gift. And being able to give grace and help others in time of need is truly just that; a Gift.

So that’s what my last few essays have been about here on my little blog.

But make no mistake: I am not only talking about things that I have concluded that I need for myself. I truly believe this applies to so many people out there in the world ~ not just those who might struggle with an invisible illness, like my Fibromyalgia. There may be some deep and dark grief…

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Ten Things Not to Say to Someone with OCD

bulletin board

My bulletin board might not look perfect, but that does not mean I am free of OCD.

“Oh, I must set everything up in a certain way. I am so OCD.”

How often do you hear that? People often make comments about OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) that are dismissive and unsympathetic towards those who actually have the disorder. This creates lack of awareness and support surrounding mental illness.

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Beauty Is Not Always in the Eye of the Beholder

Meeting Mickey at Breakfast

Meeting Mickey at Breakfast

When someone tells me I am beautiful, I rarely believe them. However, these kind comments at least make me consider the prospect. When alone, I barely even entertain the thought.

Why is it that we only believe that we are beautiful when someone else says so? I wonder when the day will come that we trust our own words and thoughts instead of relaying on the feelings of others?

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5 Kinds of Food-Shamers (and How to Deal With Them)

These comments might not seem like a big deal, but they can be very hurtful and fuel an eating disorder. Remember, food is just that – food. Let’s all try not to judge others for eating to stay alive and care for themselves.

TIME

If you’ve ever had anyone walk in to your cubicle as you were inhaling a Quarter Pounder with Cheese and say, “I didn’t know anyone ate fast food anymore,” congrats: You’ve been food shamed. You should know you’re in excellent company, as it’s happened to Health staffers at previous jobs (see No. 2 and No. 4), Olympic athletes, even celebs like Heidi Klum and Demi Lovato.

“Once foods are called ‘good’ and ‘bad,’ then the people who are doing the eating are judged good and bad as well,” Pamela Peeke, MD, author of The Hunger Fix, told Health. But don’t let food bullies get under your skin: People who are made to feel embarrassed about their guilty pleasures are less likely to make future healthy choices, according to a 2015 study in the journal Appetite. Instead, fight back with this field guide to the biggest…

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One Negative = Five Positives

Me trying on a hat

You can see the positives or the negatives, but it is hard when people point out the negatives more.

Ever notice that when you hear one negative thing you tend to hang onto it for a long period of time? What about the positives you are told? How long do you remember those?

Yesterday, someone told me that I looked “really bad” because of the sick-looking dark circles around my eyes. The rest of my break was spent wonderfully in the bathroom as I tried to fix my face without any makeup. When I returned a few minutes later to work, a coworker greeted me and stated, “You look so beautiful.” Yet another coworker stated the same thing about 30 minutes later.

Still, I am fretting over what I was first told. Similarly, the guests who are upset weigh on me heavily, making me sometimes forget all of the happy people that I smiled at, waved to, or helped.

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Ten Things Not to Say to Someone with BED or Compulsive Overeating Disorders

Mario eating food

Mario eating a S’More

When thinking of eating disorders, most people know about anorexia and bulimia at least by name. However, even more common are disorders that fall under EDNOS or eating disorder not otherwise specified. Two of these are BED  or Binge Eating Disorder and Compulsive Overeating. These are just as painful and certainly dangerous to your emotional, physical, and mental health.

Another hard element of these eating disorders is the judgement that goes with them. All eating disorder are judged, but if you also struggle with being overweight, that makes it even worse. Although most people would not have labeled me as having one of these disorders, I certainly feel like I had them through my teenage years. Some of the comments that I heard have altered my body image and confidence for over a decade now.

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Shake It Off

As someone who speaks deeply from the heart and carefully chooses what words to say to others, I expect others to comment with discernment and kindness. Unfortunately, that is often not the case. Some people go through life spouting off insensitive statements or belittling others.

Reacting to these comments and standing up for yourself or others is important. However, there are other times when you must learn to simply ignore stupid remarks. As my mother loved to say, “Let it go in one ear and out the other.”

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The Most Beautiful Phrase on Earth: “That’s What I’m Here For”

Friends

With my friend Jess

While cleaning at my job, a coworker gave me advice that I have heard all of my life: “You need to stop letting people take advantage of you.”

Being honest instead of glossing over my words is one of my strong suits. Thanks, Aspergers. So my answer was simple: “My brain does not think like that, so I usually do not even realize what is happening until it is too late.”

Instead of laughing or changing the subject, my friend looked me straight in the eyes and said, “That’s what I’m here for.”

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When a Compliment Turns Sour

Mario with sunglasses years ago

What happens when a compliment you are given turns sour?

Compliments are one of the best gifts that can be given. When you honestly affirm people, you acknowledge their worth and strengths. Even those of us who struggle with self-hate feel touched (if a bit embarrassed) when complimented by another person.

However, a nice comment can go horribly wrong and leave you feeling icky, frightened, and confused. PTSD can play a major factor in this, but many other mental illness or disorders (autism, bipolar, eating disorders, etc.) can complicate the situation. These brain differences might heighten the anxiety and bewilderment in how to handle the soured compliment.

This happened to me a few days ago at work. People appear to viewer servers and waitresses as subhuman sometimes. Men and women alike will take out frustration on me or order me about in a way that they would probably not do to anyone else. I am learning to breathe deeply and ignore these types of people after I help them.

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