Sometimes People Turn Your Day Around

Two of my roommates and a friend at a pool party

Two of my roommates and a friend at a pool party

Today was miserable. I woke up late which made me late. Plus the bus left early which put me onto a ride with people fighting loudly. Tomorrow I am waking up at 3:30 or earlier for work, I got in trouble (big trouble) for running late, I was not able to go grocery shopping or pick up my packages like I had wanted, lots of my laundry is dirty since I have few sets of clothing….the list of complaints about today could go on and on. It is the first day down here that I really disliked.

However, my lovely roommates came to the rescue. One helped me carry all of my belongings to the apartment. Then the rest made me supper while I showered with a borrowed towel (mine is dirty). Now, I feel much better if still exhuasted and sadder than previously. I just hope that I can do a good job here. What if I am not cut out for this job or just not good enough? That fear keeps replaying through my head.

Whatever the case, I am glad to be here now. I must keep doing my best. There is nothing else I can do, right?

Top Ten Signs of Discontent

Me in black and white

Are you struggling with being discontent?

I am discontent with my life. Today, that realization dawned upon me. So many times, my mind turns to what is wrong with myself and the situations that I am in instead of being content with the journey of each day.

Being discontent takes root in many ways and can change with each moment. I am anxious with people but lonely alone, nervous with romantic feelings but unloved single, stressed busy but bored without plans, etc. The list of my fickle discontent goes on much longer than I care to admit.

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Giving Up the Hardest Thing for Lent

St. Mary Magdalen

The Anglo-Catholic Church St. Mary Magdalen

Ah, Lent. The time of the Church year when an anorexic has a great excuse not to eat.

Part of me wishes I could go back to that way of thinking. However, fasting from food was not a prayer for me. This action brought me no spiritual depth, peace, or grace. Instead, I ended up weary physically, haggard emotionally, and disenchanted spiritually. Only the shell of me remained, or so it seemed. Slowly, my recovery brought me back my voice, passion, and hope.

However, now I need to think of something new to give up for Lent. For those who do not know, today was Ash Wednesday. Millions of people are not having (or at least trying not to have) sweets, pop, chocolate, chips, you-choose-the-yummy-food for the next 40 days.

I am not one of those people.

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One Thousand Thanks: 995 – 997. Beautiful Side of My Complaints

Saying goodbye as the brothers drive away

I have always feared being around cars, but there are great parts of having them.

Complaining is something that I fall into far too often. That is putting it kindly. When in a difficult situation or irritated by small annoyances, I tend to gripe instead of fixing the situation. On the other hand, I can remain silent sometimes when someone is really hurting me or another person.

For my second to last Thanksgiving Thursday (I am sad to give these up next week, so I am stretching them out), looking at the beautiful side of my most common complaints seemed like a fun idea.

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Fat Talk Scarily Becomes Easier

Looking in the MirrorThrough my teenage years, I never engaged in fat talk. After all, why draw more attention to my disgusting body? When other girls complained about their appearance, I cringed inside because I knew that they were healthy while I was obese.

However, anorexia and losing weight has made talking negatively about my body easier. Scarily, each day this talk becomes even more simple. Now, I can spout out the very language I hated other people saying. Worse yet, there are sometimes people who weigh more than me in the room. I am, in fact, becoming the very person that hurt me growing up without ever intending to be cruel.

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Coping Skills. #23. Giving Thanks

Coping Skill. 23. Giving Thanks

When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself.
– Tecumseh

When I am depressed, I have a hard time seeing anything good in life.  However, sometimes what I need is to think about the wonderful aspects of my life, other people, and the world.  Especially around this time of year, giving thanks can be a valuable coping skill to keep me rooted in positive thinking.

This might sound redundant after all of the talk of Thanksgiving and thankfulness.  However, I felt like this coping skill was too good to skip.  Plus, no matter how many times I hear about doing this, I tend to forget when things are difficult.  Why is it that people seem so quick to complain but so slow to appreciate?  This tendency saddens me but sometimes I fall into it as well.

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