My feet are firmer on the ground than previous times in my life. My heart does not trip over itself while scrambling to get away from a new person quite as often. My smile usually feels real instead of plastered onto my face.
Yet, there are still moments when the shaking starts. When my head begins to whirl and my breath comes in rapid puffs. When I feel like if I see another person or anyone touches me, I will break down in tears.
The wonderful package that my friend Morgan sent me was the highlight of my week.
Waiting to get a job at Disney again and then waiting for it to start these past two months has been hard. However, even in the hard times, remembering the beautiful elements of life is important.
Just this week, I endured many struggles with my anxiety, eating disorder thoughts, and depression. However, even more blessings followed me. I need to remember to look at those good things and notice them just as much (or, hopefully, even more) than the negative parts of life.
Trying on huge hats at Chapel Hats in Downtown Disney was certainly a moments for my “happiness” folder.
I like labeling and arranging things. Putting my books in a new order (alphabetical by author, similar genre, date published, etc) was an exciting task that I did around once a month. Color coding priced items for a garage sale, rearranging the school supplies in my drawer, checking off items on a to-do list – being an Aspie might contribute to my enthusiasm of these tasks.
Similarly, filing things brings me joy. I have folders full of programs of shows, recipes to try, pictures of places to visit, and medical information about my medications. The things that I keep serve some purpose; I want to try to accomplish/make it some day, remember the time a moment happened, have information for later, etc.
Many times, work has been a helpful coping skill for me and others I know. You are distracted, busy, and hopefully doing something you are passionate about or helping others while meeting a goal. There are many benefits to working besides earning money.
However, sometimes we need to take a break from work as a coping skill. Perhaps you are burned out, physically sick, mentally exhausted, or emotionally drained. Maybe it is time for this coping skill then.
I need to eat well while working so much. This I had at a resort.
We all get off track at times. Money is spent on a night out with friends instead of an electricity bill. We sleep in late instead of calling our mother. A new crush distracts us from our lifelong dreams.
Veering off track is normal for humans. However, it is still not a good habit to have. Instead, people often try to write down lists of goals in order to stay focused in life. Continue reading →
What a great coping skill to use! It might be difficult, but try to put yourself into another situation or experience something as another person. Even better, go back to a happy moment of your life. That sounds lovely to me!
Like many of you when driving, my mind races with thoughts of things I have to do, problems to solve, errands to run, crisis to deal with and so forth. Yesterday was different. As I was driving on a back road to get to a client’s home, I found myself following a gentleman, (or gentlewoman as I couldn’t tell; the only clue being the gray hair on the back of his/her head.) Because it was an awesomely beautiful day after a horrendous winter of being snowbound, the top to the MG convertible was down, sunlight shining happily on the occupant. Looking at the car, I recognized it as similar to the one bought with my own money when I was a teenager. My pride and joy that was purchased with my dad, a gentleman who did not generally interact with people, including me. Buying that car bonded us…
With only a few hours of sleep last night, I awoke drained and unready for the day of my sister’s graduation. Thankfully, the long road trip there and back provided a great time for me to take some short naps. Although I rarely can fall asleep during the day, these periods of relaxation were actually very helpful and rejuvenating.
Taking a nap is common in certain cultures. Many people used to go home from work and rest. We even encourage children to take a break during a busy day of playing. However, there is often a stigma attached to napping now. You are considered lazy, childish, elderly, unambitious, etc. Only those who really deserve naps should take them, and being in a position where you need that rest is something to be ashamed of and try to escape.
Time changes everything except something within us which is always surprised by change. – Thomas Hardy
“I’m sorry, but you have to put on your shoes here, sweetie.”
The request from the woman at my school was simple enough. However, the fact that she touched me on the shoulder unexpectedly while I was speaking to a friend and standing so near while looking straight into my eyes upset me. Silly, I know. Yet, my automatic response was panic. Instead of staying like a rational adult and just putting on my shoes, I stormed away in search of a safe place to hide in shame.
The past few days have caused me to realize that there are many things that I wish I learned in eating disorder treatment, important aspects of living a normal life with food in it. Without these lessons in treatment, I have struggled greatly to try to adapt to the real world and maintain my recovery.
Now, most of my time in treatment was instructive, healing, and motivating. Health care providers gave me hope with their optimism and constant support. Fellow friends in recovery stood by my side and told me their own stories. Therapy groups taught me to use music, art, CBT, or my faith as a coping skill. Dietitians crafted a meal plan to support my body, lifestyle, and other needs. Acupuncture, yoga, family nights, outings at restaurants – all of the different activities allowed me to heal and explore new aspects of myself that had lay dormant for years.
However, something was still missing. More was needed in my treatment to help me further along in recovery.