These comments might not seem like a big deal, but they can be very hurtful and fuel an eating disorder. Remember, food is just that – food. Let’s all try not to judge others for eating to stay alive and care for themselves.
If you’ve ever had anyone walk in to your cubicle as you were inhaling a Quarter Pounder with Cheese and say, “I didn’t know anyone ate fast food anymore,” congrats: You’ve been food shamed. You should know you’re in excellent company, as it’s happened to Health staffers at previous jobs (see No. 2 and No. 4), Olympic athletes, even celebs like Heidi Klum and Demi Lovato.
“Once foods are called ‘good’ and ‘bad,’ then the people who are doing the eating are judged good and bad as well,” Pamela Peeke, MD, author of The Hunger Fix, told Health. But don’t let food bullies get under your skin: People who are made to feel embarrassed about their guilty pleasures are less likely to make future healthy choices, according to a 2015 study in the journal Appetite. Instead, fight back with this field guide to the biggest…
On Wednesday, a friend and I ate supper together at my school cafeteria. The lack of label frightened me, but the vegetarian option (an egg breakfast tart, homemade bread and fresh fruit) was amazing. Having something new was a nice change from my frozen veggie burgers and unsatisfying protein bars.
Despite the anxiety regarding my weight and the calories, this meal was a great coping skill for me. Dining out can be a great way to relax, engage with others, try something new, and have a break from regular life. Whether you eat at Chipotle while joking with friends or a fancy French restaurant with a significant other, this experience can be a special event to release stress and lighten your mood.
Having tea and supper with my friend Nora in Oxford
For theater practice today, our cast met at a coffee shop. Not being able to consume caffeine limited the items that I could buy. Right away, I assumed that I would get some tea. However, the apple cider drink looked delicious. I never grew up drinking at places like this, and having such an item would be a huge treat.
However, we were going to Cafe Late, a very delicious and fun restaurant which is popular for its desserts, after the coffee shop. Thus, it made no sense for me to get a fancy drink and then eat some cake at the restaurant. The conflict continued to circle in my mind.
In a similar nature to my fall blog post on wonderful events during that semester, I am looking back on what happened recently in school. This past semester was full of much anxiety and heartbreak but held some great moments still. Despite the difficulty, the overall experience helped me to grow as a person and in recovery. So today, I will recount some of the events I am most thankful for from it.
555. Winning a national award for the student newspaper website – This shocked me. As the web editor, I worked hard to make the site user-friendly and appealing. However, rarely did people seem to notice. Hearing from a huge organization that our site and paper won their award was so honoring and astonishing.
Well, I finally did it. Tonight was the first time that I ate at the restaurant where I work. Not only that, the dish was one of the foods that scares me the most: pasta. Afterward, my stomach felt full. The further that I go in recovery, the more feeling food in my stomach bothers me. Then I arrived back on campus and was given a ice cream shake by a friend. Once again, the food tasted wonderful but left me feeling so fat and full.
This left me wondering about my fear of being full. People always complain about being stuffed at Thanksgiving. I lament my stomach bulging out even if it is only in my head. But being full is not the same as over-eating. Instead, it says that you are satisfied and that you have enough of what you need. Being full is a good thing. There are many impoverished people who would love the feeling of food.
After having such a stressful morning yesterday, I wondered how I could keep going. Perhaps dropping the speech tournament was the best idea. Many ideas and anxieties sped through my mind.
Finally, I decided to leave with another group of people. Although this required leaving a class early and not picking up a classmate, it saved me the pressure of driving to a busy and unfamiliar place. Thus, the transportation was figured out despite my desire to please everyone. Instead of worrying about my class believing me the perfect student or taking care of the other girl coming, I needed to think about myself. As selfish as that sounds, sometimes you need to focus on your own life instead of trying to control everyone around you. In the end, we only can choose our own actions, thoughts, and feelings. I can influence others but not force them to react in a certain way.
Right now, I feel ready to either burst into sobs or pull out all of my hair. Anxiety rushes through my body like a million spiders trapped under my skin. How on earth will I get through the rest of this day all by myself? Right now, I keep asking myself that while trying not to think of death or self-harm.
In a few hours, I am leaving for a speech tournament. However, all of the plans exploded in my face. Now, my greatest fear might need to be faced. Instead of riding with others to the competition, I might be driving myself and someone else through busy traffic to an unknown area. Cars terrify me, and although I commute every day, riding in those high-speed killing machines fills me with dread. What will happen if I need to find directions to a new place with the pressure of arriving on time?
Last May, I took a trip with my mother to London. Being abroad for the first time in the land of my dreams was one of the best experiences of my life. After leaving, I longed to return and looked for a reason to do so.
Now, I am excited to announce that I am going to be studying abroad at Oxford this May and June! When I received notification that I was accepted into the program, my heart nearly stopped. Who would have imagined that the girl who could barely walk from malnutrition, received joy only from etching lines into her skin, could not socialize with anyone, and burst into tears at the thought of leaving home would be studying across the ocean?
Gollum from The Lord of the Rings has always had a place in my heart. Despite his murderous desire for the ring and loathsome appearance, I love this character and wish that he had a happy ending. Deep down, he reminds me of myself.
People usually raise their eyebrows and laugh uncomfortably when I mention this. So let me put your mind at ease. I am not so attached to anything that I would murder someone. My body image is not quite so bad that I think that I look like this creature. And I certainly do not attend to bite off anyone’s fingers.
However, some similarities still remain. Part of me tortures my more sensitive side, claiming that I am a monster who is unlovable. Sometimes, I lack trust and rely on myself instead of allowing others in to my life. If we all searched ourselves, we might find a bit of Gullom inside who constantly berates us while claiming to be the only thing that saves us.
I cringe as my wrapper crinkles. If only a few more minutes existed between my two classes. Perhaps then I could find a quiet corner for hiding. Instead, lunch must be consumed in the presence of my tiny class.
Our guest speaker tells about her experience as a freelancer. However, the sound of my own munching drowns out her words. Flushing pink, I wish to disappear. Everyone in the 10 person class probably is staring at me with disgust. Who eats their meal in class?