Happy Almost Fourth!

Tomorrow will be the 4th of July or Independence Day. Although I am not much of a fireworks fan, I loved the Disney ones that are special for today and tomorrow. The only nice part of waiting two hours for my bus was seeing them.

I am very nervous about the crowds tomorrow. However, my prayer is that everyone is safe and happy. Hopefully, I can help make that happen.  Continue reading


You Can Break Free and Be Strong

We can easily be trapped in a box during our lives. Parents have expectations we must meet, friends pressure us to follow the crowd, teachers push for good grades, etc. All of life seems to tug on us.

However, we can break free and be ourselves. I love this song because it reminds me of that. Plus, Kelly Clarkson is an amazing singer.

What makes you feel invincible? What holds you back from that? My friend advised me today to keep looking for my identity and not focus so much on what others think of me. That is a very wise idea and one that I want to take to heart. That is the beginning of my journey (or maybe the middle of it) to being free.

Note from a Graduated Woman

Students at Oxford

Students at Oxford

Dear world,

I am free. Well, I am free from my university to embark to new places, meet new people, have new experiences, and face new fears. Sure, there are still things that hold me back such as student loans, anxieties, commitments, and finances. However, those do not control my life completely.

Today was lovely. As I walked across stage and listened to my commencement, tears welled up in my eyes and trickled down my cheeks. Being in this position, fighting so hard to recover enough to get through school, refusing to back down on my beliefs or give up on my university – my college journey has not been easy. No, not easy but it has valuable and empowering.

Continue reading

Dissolving the Bitterness

It is hardly possible to build anything if frustration, bitterness and a mood of helplessness prevail. - Lech Walesa

It is hardly possible to build anything if frustration, bitterness and a mood of helplessness prevail. – Lech Walesa

Over the past semester, bitterness towards me school has built up inside of me. The firing of dear faculty, condemning of my views, and belittling of me with others’ superiority has bothered me. At times, I did not know if I even wanted to walk with my graduating class this May.

However, the last few days have amazingly melted away some of my bitterness. A wonderful chapel speech from a great leader who complimented my performance and knew my name, kind words from the class president who also remembered my name (how?), and a surprisingly uplifting theology class all contributed to this change. Plus, numerous relationships are healing beautifully and making me sorrowful about leaving Minnesota.

Continue reading

One Thousand Thanks: 977 – 987. Joys of Singlehood

Releasing Your Captive Imagination

Being single can be ok and even a blessing.

Loneliness is one of the worst feelings in the world. It brings hopelessness, misery, depression, and lack of motivation.

Lately, this sense of being lost without anyone has been difficult. From everything that I have read, this is typical of Aspergers. Just because I know about part of the cause of my loneliness does not make it any easier.

Since being single has been a huge part of my current sense of sorrow, I decided to look at the wonderful parts of not being in a romantic relationship. Please add any others that you think of in the comments.

Continue reading

One Thousand Thanks: 922 – 932. Free Time

Stump in stream

Sometimes we need to stop and take a break instead of rushing down the stream of life.

For the first time in months, my schedule was clear today. No school, no work, no meetings, no medical appointments – nothing. Yes, there were many items that I needed to attend to, but it was still wonderful to feel less pressured.

Today made me realize why the phrase “free time” has the word “free” in it. There is a freedom that you have when no one else owns part of your day. Being busy and productive brings a sense of accomplishment. However, too much happening can make you feel weary and trapped.

So here are some wonderful benefits to having free time that I enjoyed today and look forward to having in the future. I would love to hear what you appreciate about having a day where nothing is scheduled.

Continue reading

Recovery in the Media: #60. American Authors

American Authors

Uplifting in both beat and lyric, this band refuses to let the hardship of the past hold them back from enjoying the future.

60. American Authors

Hearing ‘The Best Day of My Life” numerous times on the radio was my first introduction to the band American Authors. I enjoyed the song but did not think much about it. However, another one of their songs, “Believer,” really touched me. As I began to hear more of their songs, my admiration for their simple style and optimistic lyrics grew. That is why I decided to discuss them today for Media Monday. Hopefully you will have your spirit lifted a bit by their music like mine is.

Selected Songs:

    • “Luck” from their Oh, What a Life album
    • “Ghost” from their Oh, What a Life album
    • “Love” from their Oh, What a Life album
    • “Think About It” from their Oh, What a Life album
    • “Believer” from their Oh, What a Life album

Continue reading

Coping Skill: #52. Climbing a Tree

In a tree at a Blenheim Palace grounds

In a tree at a Blenheim Palace grounds

One place you could often find me growing up was in a tree. Damp willows were a fairy fort, sturdy oaks a reading room, tall red pines a looking post, and birches a pale beauty too elegant to touch. Usually, I climbed to the very top and overlooked the amazing land at my feet with excitement and hope.

Coming down was always harder. Leaving my secure (if a bit dangerous) spot frightened me. Emerging back into daily life with my feet on the ground was much less appealing than being a free bird ready to soar off into new lands.

Continue reading

Ways That Numbers Control Our Lives

Toastmasters: A Group for All

Toastmasters can benefit anyone!

At my Toastmasters meeting tonight, I gave a speech on how numbers control our lives. This meeting was not only a normal club meeting but also a contest for the International Speech Competition. Whoever wins at this level proceeds to the next one and so on until you reach the international level. My club voted for me to represent them at the next level, and I look forward to giving this speech again in hopes to inspiring more people.

This ideas has ruminated in the back of my mind for over almost two years now. However, I never felt confident enough to speak about it. Numbers have always scared me. That shouldn’t happen for someone with Aspergers, I have been told. However, math caused me panic as I grew older. My mother maintains that I was good at it but lost confidence. Deep depression made me unable to complete any homework, so my dislike of this subject grew as my knowledge waned.

Continue reading

10 Reasons Eating Disorders are not Glamorous

Eating disorders are not glamorous!

Eating disorders are not glamorous!

Ever since reading Anne of Green Gables as a child, I have thought of fainting as romantic. Wouldn’t it be nice to drop to the ground in a graceful motion or into the arms of someone who suddenly realizes your beauty? Perhaps this fantasy shows my disordered thinking, but I have always wanted to pass out someday.

Thus, the news that my blood glucose or sugar is so low that I could faint both frightened and elated me. Now I know that my dizziness the past few days is not just in my head. In all honesty, part of me is crumple down, unconscious. Maybe people would realize the pain inside or at least notice my existence. Who knows? A knight in shining (or at least campus security) might appear magically to help me back to my feet. This moment could be the beginning of something beautiful.

Then I bring myself back to reality. Knowing my luck, I would fall over in a deserted place and hit my head on something hard, causing a large, ugly gash. No one would come across me for hours, and then it would be a bewildered professor who would call an ambulance. Thus, I would awaken in a hospital bed with an IV in my arm and no handsome knight to be seen.

Here is the main point: Eating disorders and their physical complications are not glamorous.


Continue reading