Be quiet. Do not complain. Remain strong like nothing is wrong.
Those are voices in my head. Sometimes those messages are helpful. Usually, however, these words create more drama and pain in my life. Instead of being honest about difficulties, I try to manage by myself until I end up sobbing, feeling alone and defeated.
Recently, I finished the book 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher. The novel tells of a girl who sends out a message to the thirteen people who caused her to commit suicide. Although difficult at many parts, this story is honest and fascinating.
While reading it, I thought of the times that I felt like giving up on life. There are many things that stopped me. However, there are certain people who had the most influence on saving me.
So instead of sending out a message to those who caused me to give up, here is a message of hope and love for those that supported and saved me. I excluded my family members simply because they are an obvious (for me) help. Thank you to all of them as well as those who also aided me on this beautiful but painful journey of life.
The Mystery Incorporated Gang always helped each other.
“I can do it myself!” This is one of the first phrases that children use. Independence appears to be one of the first lessons that we learn.
In many ways, being independent is a good thing. We are self-sufficient, confident, and strong. Functioning alone is possible as well as in a group. As the word implies, you are not (“in”) needing to relay (“dependent”) on anyone else.
“I can do this; I can do this.” That is going to be my continuous thought for this next dreadfully busy week. Most of the time, I just want to flop down and die instead of continuing on with all of my crazy work.
However, I really am almost done with school. Is that a good thing? I am still not sure. What is a good thing for sure? These links! Enjoy.
Break is officially over for me. Tomorrow, classes begin. I feel mixed about starting on this last part of my journey at this university. Leaving will be bitter sweet although the bitterness has brown lately.
Anyway, here are the links like every Sunday. Enjoy!
Many people want to muscle their way through life without asking for help or admitting struggles. I certainly am like that. This week I challenged that by opening up to a professor about my struggles in the class figuring out my point of view. He responded generously and helped to accommodate my learning style and abilities.
Not everyone will be willing to accommodate what you need. However, asking usually will not hurt anything. Also, more people are willing to make changes than you would think. You might be surprised at how flexible and caring others can be when you need accommodations.
While cleaning at my job, a coworker gave me advice that I have heard all of my life: “You need to stop letting people take advantage of you.”
Being honest instead of glossing over my words is one of my strong suits. Thanks, Aspergers. So my answer was simple: “My brain does not think like that, so I usually do not even realize what is happening until it is too late.”
Instead of laughing or changing the subject, my friend looked me straight in the eyes and said, “That’s what I’m here for.”
Sleep continues to be a problem that I deal with most nights. Since childhood, falling asleep and staying that way has been a struggle. Now, there are mornings when I cannot wake up despite my best efforts.
At confession today, the priest suggested improving my sleep hygiene by having a bedtime routine. An hour later, my mother echoed his words. When two wise people say the same thing to you in a short period of time, you know that you should listen.