Sometimes You Just Need to Voice Your Needs

Be quiet. Do not complain. Remain strong like nothing is wrong.

Those are voices in my head. Sometimes those messages are helpful. Usually, however, these words create more drama and pain in my life. Instead of being honest about difficulties, I try to manage by myself until I end up sobbing, feeling alone and defeated.

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I Am Versus I Feel

Right now, I am reading a wonderful book titled The Power of I Am by Joel Osteen. He states numerously the impact of our words and how they affect our lives.

For example, if you state that you are miserable, you are inviting that miserableness into your life. The same with being in debt, overweight, unhappy, etc. In a similar way, stating that you are blessed, healthy, financially secure, and joyful brings those things into your life.

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Angst vs. Honesty

Me in black and white

Is it angst or honesty?

If I’m honest, I struggle with being angsty sometimes. “Oh my life is awful! No one loves me! I would be better dead!” On and on the negative thoughts go.

Angst is annoying at best and only pushes people away instead of drawing them into your support team. It makes you seem like a victim instead of a survivor, a martyr instead of a warrior, a helpless person instead of a strong person.

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Can You Be Honest about PTSD Triggers?

I did it for the first time in my life. I told someone outright that he was triggering me.

So many different emotions are running through my head. Guilt, relief, fear, regret, shame, even a bit of pride – all of it is there.

What do I do now? Was it the right or wrong choice? Will I ever know that?

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Cycle of Overeating and Restricting

Mario eating food

Mario eating a S’More

Ew, gross. That is your first thought when you wake up and look in the mirror. The stresses of work, traumas of the past, and pressures in your relationship are all too much to handle, so you skip breakfast. And snacks. And lunch. Before you know it, the sun has set in the evening, and you still haven’t eaten one bite.

Head whirling like a carousal, you stumble over to the fridge to make a salad. Healthy, right? But the leftover cake catches your eye. Just one bite, one little nibble…a half of an hour later, the cake is gone as is a jar of peanut butter. Still, you continue to search, now in a state of frenzy, for more food. Your stomach cries out like a ravenous beast as you tear about the kitchen in search of prey.

After a tiring binge, you lie down for sleep. The barren craven of your stomach that throbbed all day now aches as Noah’s flood rages inside of you. Lulled to sleep by your own tears, you promise to not eat anything tomorrow. You must be stronger.

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Listaliciousness: Doctor Who Tears, Hufflepuff Jokes, and Weird Waiters

Narnia is finished now, but life is even crazier. I feel like I am going to explode. However, I am trying to breathe deeply and keep pushing forward. Here are some links that made me smile this week (with one sad one). Hopefully they will bring a grin to your face too.

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Coping Skills: #80. Tell the Full Truth

How often do you lie? Much research indicates that people do it many times a day. Why? There are multiple reasoning including pleasing others, getting out of trouble, gaining admiration, or harming an enemy.

Most people agree that lies are not morally acceptable for the most part. However, we disagree about when fibs are fine or even good. Should you tell someone if she looks bad with that color hair? If a coworker does not get in trouble with the nasty boss, is it ok for you to say that you have no idea who made the mistake? What about lying to save your life or someone else’s? Is that the only time that deception is acceptable?

Today, one of the cooks challenged me to go without lying. It turned out to be more difficult than I thought. However, people with Aspergers and autism tend to struggle with lying more than others. In fact, I needed to learn how to lie or at least not tell the full truth to fit in socially. Saying what was really on my mind was far too strange for others.

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Everyone Has a Story to Tell

Black and white photo of me

Opening up and saying your story are not an easy tasks.

Writing is simple. Just type words onto a page, and there you are. Writing.

Good writing is more difficult. Character, style, grammar, inspiration, humor, honesty, clarity, research – there are so many components to creating any type of written work – fiction or nonfiction, creative or academic, comedic or tragic. Still, with proper training and natural skills, people can begin to type on a blank document with their brain dials only turned to 50 percent.

Telling your story, however, is much more difficult. More frightening. More time consuming. And more rewarding.

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Is Calling Someone a Name Ever Ok?

Recently, I have called someone (other than my siblings) a negative word several times. To his face.

“You are kind of selfish,” followed a few weeks later by “You are a real jerk,” and finished up with “You are delusional.”

Thinking about this is rather shameful for me. Sure, the words were not horrendous. I did not curse or degrade him hatefully. My tone of voice was exasperated and frustrated, yes, but not spiteful or cruel.

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The Most Beautiful Phrase on Earth: “That’s What I’m Here For”

Friends

With my friend Jess

While cleaning at my job, a coworker gave me advice that I have heard all of my life: “You need to stop letting people take advantage of you.”

Being honest instead of glossing over my words is one of my strong suits. Thanks, Aspergers. So my answer was simple: “My brain does not think like that, so I usually do not even realize what is happening until it is too late.”

Instead of laughing or changing the subject, my friend looked me straight in the eyes and said, “That’s what I’m here for.”

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