Imagine meeting an old group of friends or classmates. One person constantly belittled and even bullied others while growing up. Now, she listens well and even apologized for past actions. Another person, on the other hand, was shy and insecure. He still struggles to speak and usually complains about himself when he does speak.
Situations like this happen to me all of the time although not always in the same day. I meet people from the past who have changed tremendously while others are nearly identical. The questions arise, “Do people change? Can someone move on from the past? Are some people able to forget who they were?”
Being agreeable and getting along with others has always been important to me.
Sure, I was the shy, antisocial girl who answered too many questions in class and barely talked in the hall. Peers stopped talking when I entered the room, believing me too naive to handle anything slightly inappropriate. Others giggled at my lack of social skills or complained to my face about strange traits.
Still, I wanted others to like me. This continues to be a goal of mine. The more people who like me, the better. Even if I do not like the other person, I hope he or she respects and enjoys me.
She sure felt worthless at times, but Cinderella did not give up hope.
Being away from family, the company I want to work for, and the normalcy of Minnesota has been hard. Throw in getting a job that was not what I expected when I applied and waiting to hear back from other companies, and you will find me feeling pretty worthless.
On so many levels, I feel frustrated and broken. This stage of life is just so hard even without mental illness making it more difficult.
My friend Celina is a great example of a good friend.
There is a cliche or saying about being treated as we think we deserve. Slowly, I am coming to realize how true this is.
I feel worthless and desperate for anyone in my life. This attracts the wrong types of people sometimes, especially romantically. There are some nice guys who have expressed interest in me, but most have been inconsiderate at best and abusive at worst.
So, I am on a mission to meet all the characters. I am going to record that here and what I learned from each one. Animal Kingdom is the place that I began on Thursday, and Magic Kingdom was on Friday. Here are my first characters:
1. Pocahontas: I had never met her before and was a bit nervous. She was so kind though. First, she asked about my adventures. I noticed that a fan was blowing on her and said that I was happy that she had it to stay cool. A bit surprised, she thanked me and stated that it was a bit cold at times though. Then she said goodbye to me as her people would and thanked me for being so sweet. Her lesson to me was that you can be strong, independent, and kind. It meant a lot to me that she thanked me for caring about her because it was such a lovely connection. Continue reading →