Chasing, Gaining, Losing, Desiring Dreams

Cherry blossomsDreams are etched deeply into part of our being – our memories, minds, or spirits perhaps. They influence many vital decisions and alter the courses of our lives. You can choose to stifle them deep inside, never allowing them to see the light and grow into a branch of your life. Alternatively, you can take a wild chance and follow them, knowing they might lead to pain and difficulty. In the end, you will always wonder what would have happened if you never give those dreams a chance.

Still, chasing a dream and catching it only to have it crumble in your fingers is agonizing. Having a fleeting idea fail or not enjoying a temporary situation is frustrating. Yet, realizing your dream that you fought for is a thing you no longer desire wounds much deeper.

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Can You Ever Fully Escape Your Past?

Imagine meeting an old group of friends or classmates. One person constantly belittled and even bullied others while growing up. Now, she listens well and even apologized for past actions. Another person, on the other hand, was shy and insecure. He still struggles to speak and usually complains about himself when he does speak.

Situations like this happen to me all of the time although not always in the same day. I meet people from the past who have changed tremendously while others are nearly identical. The questions arise, “Do people change? Can someone move on from the past? Are some people able to forget who they were?”

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Someone Will Fill the Holes

Kelly Clarkson sings this song “Piece by Piece” so beautifully and passionately. So many of the words of it touched me. It is full of hope for those who feel broken.

I might feel like no one will ever be there for me, but numerous people have been. More will continue to step into my life.

Try to think of those people who helped make you feel worthy of love. Remember them instead of the people who ripped you apart. That is what I want to do.

Living Between the Two Sides

Being agreeable and getting along with others has always been important to me.

Sure, I was the shy, antisocial girl who answered too many questions in class and barely talked in the hall. Peers stopped talking when I entered the room, believing me too naive to handle anything slightly inappropriate. Others giggled at my lack of social skills or complained to my face about strange traits.

Still, I wanted others to like me. This continues to be a goal of mine. The more people who like me, the better. Even if I do not like the other person, I hope he or she respects and enjoys me.

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A Cup of Comfort

Beautiful!

theempathyqueen

she did not need very much

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There is great beauty and many beautiful things to be appreciated.  But, people with sincerity, integrity, honesty, empathy and an ability to laugh often and well, surpass them them all.

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Thank you for stopping by.  I hope that you enjoy your visit.

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10 Reminders that I am Not Worthless

Cinderella

She sure felt worthless at times, but Cinderella did not give up hope.

Being away from family, the company I want to work for, and the normalcy of Minnesota has been hard. Throw in getting a job that was not what I expected when I applied and waiting to hear back from other companies, and you will find me feeling pretty worthless.

On so many levels, I feel frustrated and broken. This stage of life is just so hard even without mental illness making it more difficult.

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Positive Quotes

Rapunzel

Rapunzel is one of the most positive people.

We all need positivity in our lives at points. That can come from friends, family, faith, work, hobbies, etc.

Quotes are another great way to be positive. Here are some of my favorites when I am feeling depressed or stressed. Continue reading

Reminders to Hang On to Life

Cinderella's coach

Cinderella’s coach

There are so many reasons to hang on and not lose hope. Life is full of difficulties and sorrows, yes, but also many beautiful moments and people.

  • Birds sing every morning, no matter the temperature or lack of sun.
  • Flowers can sprout up even in harsh places like the middle of a sidewalk.
  • People do amazingly selfless and considerate things every day.
  • Raindrops help plants to grow and bring nourishment and cleansing to the earth.
  • Dreams do come true although it might take lots of tears and time.
  • Pain does not last forever.
  • Love, however, can last forever.

There are many more reminders that should help us all hang on when it is hard. What are some of your reminders?

What We Think We Deserve

Friend Celina

My friend Celina is a great example of a good friend.

There is a cliche or saying about being treated as we think we deserve. Slowly, I am coming to realize how true this is.

I feel worthless and desperate for anyone in my life. This attracts the wrong types of people sometimes, especially romantically. There are some nice guys who have expressed interest in me, but most have been inconsiderate at best and abusive at worst.

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What to Write when You are Out of Words

Sorry for not writing recently. Words have escaped me while work has taken my time. Depression and anxiety have also been a struggle which makes writing more difficult as well.

What do you do to write when you are out of words? How do you keep putting ink onto a page? I would love to know.