Losing Sight of Yourself

"There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one's self." - Benjamin Franklin

“There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self.” – Benjamin Franklin

You know yourself better than any other human.

Sounds simple, right? Why is it then that I find this so hard to remember? I look to others to tell me what I do well, how I look (or how I should look), and who I should become. When I need approval, I don’t even try to rely on myself. Instead, a friend or family member is sure to boost my self-esteem.

Or at least, that is how it has worked most of my life. A time arrives, however, when people around you belittle instead of charm, critique instead of comfort, and ignore instead of notice. Suddenly, you are forced to look at yourself in the mirror in confusion, wondering who you are without the words of others. Or perhaps, wondering if the bitter, nastier labels they stuck on you are the reality of your character.

Continue reading

One Negative = Five Positives

Me trying on a hat

You can see the positives or the negatives, but it is hard when people point out the negatives more.

Ever notice that when you hear one negative thing you tend to hang onto it for a long period of time? What about the positives you are told? How long do you remember those?

Yesterday, someone told me that I looked “really bad” because of the sick-looking dark circles around my eyes. The rest of my break was spent wonderfully in the bathroom as I tried to fix my face without any makeup. When I returned a few minutes later to work, a coworker greeted me and stated, “You look so beautiful.” Yet another coworker stated the same thing about 30 minutes later.

Still, I am fretting over what I was first told. Similarly, the guests who are upset weigh on me heavily, making me sometimes forget all of the happy people that I smiled at, waved to, or helped.

Continue reading

How Do You Respond to That?

Looking in the Mirror

How do you respond to certain comments especially when they make you question your worth?

Preparing for my audition for being a Disney character or performing tomorrow has been very stressful. Although excited, I am terrified. After all, the other girls will be thinner, prettier, more talented, and sweeter than me. That keeps repeating in my head.

Hearing the responses of my friends and family to this big event has been both helpful and disheartening.  Most people have given me great encouragement. Others promise to pray or think about me. Even my coworkers warnings about safety or horror stories all come out of a place of being helpful.

Still, I do not want to get my hopes to high. After all, this program will be amazing even if I am not a character. Sure, that is part of my dream, but I will love working attractions too. There is not a loss just because I am not cast as a princess. That is what I keep trying to remember.

Continue reading

Listaliciousness: X Adjectives, Marie Curie’s Trolls, and the Real Hogwarts

Princess sleeping on my couch

Princess sleeping on my couch

Acting for a movie shoot and working at the theater – that was pretty much my entire weekend. Although I feel guilty about not doing homework, my overall mood is pretty good. The job went well although I was extremely silly today which people enjoyed but I will probably regret later. Doing the movie was wonderful fun as well. Acting really is one of my deepest passions.

On to the links we shall go now.  There are random assortment of things this week, as usual. Hopefully, you will find some of them useful rather than just strange. Several are about Harry Potter while other focus on writing, famous people, and art. Enjoy!

Continue reading