This relates so much to how I feel. Some days, I know where life is taking me and am confident in that. Most days, however, are still filled with doubt about the future. And that is okay, I think. At least, it is fine for now.
If I had one single dream, there is no doubt that I’d chase it ferociously. Thing is, I have too many that I can’t articulate, so I find myself stuck. I love fashion, I love writing, I love photography, I love music and gardening and painting and people and…and…and…
I’ve always struggled with this- with having to define myself into one mold. (Which is probably why I’m 28 with an undeclared major.) There are just so many things that interest me, how is a person to only pick one to succeed at? To support their family with?
I was watching some documentary about these people who were so passionate about mountaineering they made it their life’s work to summit the worlds tallest mountains. This was their specific passion even though alarmingly dangerous, and they took it very seriously. In a country where you can pretty much do and become whatever…
In both we make decisions that carry us forward. Sometimes those choices work out well. Sometimes they drop us in a dead end. Mostly it is not clear where the choice leads, and so we carry on.
Writing 1667 words a day through November’s National Novel Writing Month forced me to look at every scene and imagine how it might move the story forward. Within the first few days, every scene, every action, nearly every word seemed full of, well, pivot. The story could turn 180 degrees—except the commitments my characters held worked time and again as a rudder, pulling their choices along a true direction.
Choice after choice makes the story. Along the way we interact with characters who enter the story because of our choices. And these characters…
I am learning to live a more normal life despite new challenges. Here I am at the Rose and Crown in Epcot.
Down in Florida, I am doing more on my own than I ever dreamed that I would. Paying for rent, food, and other needs on my own is one challenge. So is working overtime every week, commuting nearly three hours a day, and still maintaining friendships.
Yet, I am managing. Life is very difficult at times, yes, but nothing that I cannot handle.
Or so I thought. Sometimes life feels like wack-a-mole or running after a toddler; the minute that you are finished with one thing, you have to chase after another one.
Here are three of my friends from Disney. I love meeting new people here.
With work and then playing in the parks, I have struggled to blog each day. This has caused a great deal of guilt. Why do I take time to do other things when I should be dedicated to this?
However, maybe my priorities are changing. Yes, this is still very important to me and certainly my readers are. You all have supported me through so much. Writing and helping others has been and continues to be an important part of my journey.
What are your greatest fears? Some people might respond death while others will say spiders. Public speaking, rejection, monsters under the bed – the list of fears could go on for pages.
However, one of the biggest fears across the whole world is failure. No one likes to fail whether it is on a school project or on a business merger. We are faced with chances of failure every day and quite frequently – far more likely than we would like – do fail.
Change – what a frightening word and concept. Something that I regularly try to avoid and yet crave at the same time is change.
I Ching is quoted as saying, “When the way comes to an end, then change – having changed, you pass through.” These words hold much wisdom although they seem simple enough. There are many meanings that you can construe from this quote. Here is my perspective on what these words on change mean.
Literature was the first place where I began to identify with characters. That and movies. Suddenly, other women and girls who I admired were set in front of me. They became role models, whether they were supposed to be or not.
Theater was the next place where I was introduced to characters that I wanted to be. Her voice, her style, her life – they all were more appealing than mine. As I portrayed more females, I felt myself change.