Cleaning Out Boxes of the Past

A lake near a mountain

A lake near the mountains

After arriving back in the USA a few days ago, I’ve been busy cleaning out all of my old boxes. Although I just moved back from China, my goal is to move abroad again for my Master’s Degree soon. Thus, all of the clutter in my old room and closet needed to leave.

As I pulled out old boxes and rummaged through dusty drawers, glimpses of the past kept appearing.

My fingers were stained pink and blue from oil pastel paintings made in residential treatment for my eating disorder. Babies surrounded by darkness, blood-red monsters devouring me, trees half blossoming and half diseased – images of despair and hope mixed with every color.

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You Remember Me?

Pluto and Santa Goofy

Pluto and Santa Goofy

“Did you take this class recently? Because I remember you saying you were looking forward to bringing your family to Walt Disney World for the first time.”

“You’re back? I so excited to see you!”

“You are going to work there, right? I have been following your journey on Facebook.”

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Listaliciousness: Aladdin Reunion, Princess Kate, and Broken Hearts

Meeting Ariel

Meeting Ariel

Well, time has certainly passed since I posted one of these lists. However, there were a few links that I wanted to share. Plus, getting back in the schedule of regular posting on my blog is a goal of mine.

So here are some great links both pertaining to mental health and Disney (where I just began to work again yesterday) as well other interesting topics.

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Someone Will Fill the Holes

Kelly Clarkson sings this song “Piece by Piece” so beautifully and passionately. So many of the words of it touched me. It is full of hope for those who feel broken.

I might feel like no one will ever be there for me, but numerous people have been. More will continue to step into my life.

Try to think of those people who helped make you feel worthy of love. Remember them instead of the people who ripped you apart. That is what I want to do.

The Mystery of the Past Two Valentine’s Days

Valentine's Day Teddy

My wonderful Valentine’s Day gift from Christine

Sleep still in my eyes, I wandered into the living room this morning. Staring me down from the couch was a huge, fluffy teddy bear.

“Must be for one of my roommates,” I figured before snuggling onto another side of the couch with my cereal.

Heading out the door, my lovely roommate handed me a card. “Someone at work left this and the bear for you.”

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There Are So Many Things and Ways to Love

This video really inspired me. After all, I might not be in a relationship, but I can still love others. I can still try to take the yellow  tape off of my heart.

Who is it that you want to show some love to not only today but every day? Texting a forgotten friend, sending a letter to your sibling, snuggling with your cat a bit longer than normal. There are so many ways to reach out to others.

I want to do this more often. How about you?

What We Think We Deserve

Friend Celina

My friend Celina is a great example of a good friend.

There is a cliche or saying about being treated as we think we deserve. Slowly, I am coming to realize how true this is.

I feel worthless and desperate for anyone in my life. This attracts the wrong types of people sometimes, especially romantically. There are some nice guys who have expressed interest in me, but most have been inconsiderate at best and abusive at worst.

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Meeting All the Characters and What I Learned: Day One and Two

Meeting Pocahontas

Meeting Pocahontas

Recently, I wrote about why I like to meet characters. One of my favorite things to do in the Walt Disney World Parks is to meet everyone.

So, I am on a mission to meet all the characters. I am going to record that here and what I learned from each one. Animal Kingdom is the place that I began on Thursday, and Magic Kingdom was on Friday. Here are my first characters:

1. Pocahontas: I had never met her before and was a bit nervous. She was so kind though. First, she asked about my adventures. I noticed that a fan was blowing on her and said that I was happy that she had it to stay cool. A bit surprised, she thanked me and stated that it was a bit cold at times though. Then she said goodbye to me as her people would and thanked me for being so sweet. Her lesson to me was that you can be strong, independent, and kind. It meant a lot to me that she thanked me for caring about her because it was such a lovely connection. Continue reading

Highlights of Having My Family at Disney World

Tobias, a Royal Majesty Maker, with my family

Tobias, a Royal Majesty Maker, with my family

I am so sorry about the long wait! Life has been crazy with work.

More importantly though, I was busy for five days with my parents and little brother. They came to Disney World. It was the first time at the parks from my mother and Mario as well as the first time to all the parks besides Magic Kingdom for my Dad. Continue reading

Things that Put a Smile on My Face

About to ride on Dumbo

Riding the rides makes me smile.

After my last post, several people expressed concern about me. Now I feel a bit overly dramatic. Yes, life is stressful and hard down here in Florida. However, it is also full of amazement and new victories.

My smile falters with lots of hate for my body, PTSD flashbacks, anxiety, and depression. Yet, the smile returns daily for many things. Here are just a few: Continue reading