This morning, I embarked to Iowa for the wedding of my college roommate. Not only does this give me a little break from work, this wonderful experience also allowed me to stay with my mother in a lovely hotel. Just hearing her voice brings a smile to my face. Seeing her is even better.
Sometimes, we all need little breaks like this. Hopefully, you do not need to fly across the country for yours. However, there are times when you need to completely alter your location to have a new experience. That is what I have found today.
What is the last break that you took? What are some ideas for breaks that you could utilize?
My lovely roommates have decided that I must go to bed at a reasonable time tonight after not getting more than 5 hours of sleep per night for a week. We reached a compromise of before midnight. Thus, this post is rather brief because there is much to still be done.
However, I must say that I love my roommates. Sure, not staying up will be stressful. However, I need the rest to get my schoolwork done well and perform to the best of my abilities at work. Plus, not taking my medication for a couple of weeks is starting to make my thoughts really hard to manage.
Anyway, a big thank you and much love to my lovely roommate Katie for taking on the role of my mother. Also thank you to her accomplice Kaitlyn. I love you both! Having you as my roommates has been such a blessing.
Although I am eating more normally again, my eating disorder continues to scream at me. My stomach bulges, my legs swell, my back is engulfed in wrinkles – all of this plays through my head. Then that voice returns: “And you think that you deserve to eat? Be strong and say no.”
At one time, that voice would have pushed me into a dark place and near to death. Right now, it still bothers me but more by telling me how worthless I am for not listening to it. Instead of focusing on ED, however, I must keep tuning into the voice of wisdom.
Break is officially over for me. Tomorrow, classes begin. I feel mixed about starting on this last part of my journey at this university. Leaving will be bitter sweet although the bitterness has brown lately.
Anyway, here are the links like every Sunday. Enjoy!
Customer service (like that at Cahoots Cafe) is hard but can be so rewarding.
Making customers smile at work to day by offering to help them unexpectedly reminded me why I love my job. Sure, there are many struggles. However, even a waitress can help make the world a better place by impacting others one by one.
Now that I am done with finals, work is picking up a bit. However, there is still time for my weekly links. Some are a bit funny while others focus on Christmas which is just around the corner! Hopefully, you enjoy them.
After a long week at school and many lonely moments, I love being home. All of this week, my heart yearned to be held by my mother and hear my father’s hilarious jokes. Giggling with Mario or blushing as Christine teased me sounded like wonderful scenarios. Even better, Thanksgiving is drawing near which means that Maria will be returning so that we all can be cheered by her radiant smile.
Home can be a difficult place to return for some people. For others, however, returning brings back a sense of safety, comfort, warmth, and relaxation. No one can harm you. Your parents once again stand guard to keep you out of harm’s way.
One of the positive traits that I can say about myself is that I am strong. Sometimes this comes out in a negative way like when I use that to hurt myself. Other times, it shows through my willingness to keep trying despite the pain.
Most people do not think strong when they first see me. Sweet, nice, naive, girly – sure. But strong? I probably look like a bit of a wimp.
However, everyone has their own type of strength. Finding that is vital to recovery. This video with Maya Angelou is a wonderful example of having deep strength.
My mother is an amazing person. She cares for and loves me to the best of her abilities. However she is not perfect. In fact, she is not even my therapist.
Often times, I interact with my family as if they were my medical caregivers. When I self-harm, their confused and angry response terrifies me. Times when I need consoling, they might be warn out and unable to listen. The way my Aspergian brain works still bewilders and annoys them. Thus, I am left longing for therapy from people who (despite their love) do not have the training or energy to give me that.
Over the past couple of months, I have been practicing for a one-act festival at my university. The past week, my cast performed a shortened version of The Yellow Boat by David Saar. Five other casts presented other one-acts on the same nights as us or alternating evenings.
The Yellow Boat is originally a childrens’ show but one of the most powerful scripts I have ever read. David Saar wrote it about his son, Benjamin. In the 1980s, this little boy with an artistic streak was born. Because of his hemophilia, Benjamin received multiple blood transfusions. One of these gave him blood tainted with the aids virus.
Suddenly, this creative and exciting show with us running around being happy children morphs into a heart-wrenching tale about this young artists last days. Just thinking about it now still brings me to tears. At the end, Benjamin dies and “sails away on the yellow boat” up to the sun.
Today is Halloween or All Saints Eve according to most people. However, I special something even better: my mother’s birthday.
Usually I try to not discuss my family too much on my blog. Out of privacy, I focus mainly on my life and thoughts. But this woman deserves all the praise she can get not only for raising us four children but also for being a wonderful person. Thus, I will spend Thankfulness Thursday focusing on what I am thankful for that she has done or qualities that she has. I love you, Mom!