I was able to go to Shanghai Disneyland which was wonderful.
Knowing limits is good. I need to remember that I do not have the superpower of speed to get ready for the day in five minutes. Nor can anyone read minds. We cannot fly, breathe under water, live without food or water, etc. Limits can be helpful.
However, they can also be a hinder. So many times, I have let limits on myself – whether inflicted by me or others – that have hurt me. There were things that I was and wasn’t, limits set and dreams shattered.
This past year has shown me that I am more than my limitations. I need to stop living bound to my past or my struggles.
This British driving sign states what I want to do right now.
This week has been so crazy. I began an internship, started a new job training, had a huge fundraiser for where I work, wrote for my client, and tried (am still trying actually) to finish a mystery party for this Saturday. Right now, only a few minutes are left before I must get ready for work.
Sometimes things in life are hectic. That can be difficult, but it can also have benefits. Today for Thankfulness Thursday, I am going to focus on the good parts of being busy.
Two of my classmates studying outside our house in Oxford
Lately, my depression has affected my writing. Instead of looking forward to working on a story, work, or blog, I find myself feeling apathetic and unmotivated. Nothing seems to interest me, and the energy to be creative and think of words seems drained from me.
This has made me rather miserable. How can I blog each day if my heart is not in it? What is the use of going to school for professional writing if I cannot do the work? If I cannot find the inspiration to write, am I a failure who needs to stick to simple jobs like being a hostess in a restaurant for the rest of my life?
Finally, I have found a purpose in my life. Hopelessness and self-hate used to blind me from seeing a bright future. However, events and people in this past year helped free me from past hurts so that I was free to explore my dreams. Now I know what my mission in life is: I want to touch other people.
This does not need to be a spectacular, noteworthy thing. Would I love to save lives, travel around the world helping others, and influence millions? Sure, but that is not my purpose.
Right now I am in the middle of mid-terms. Although I want to continue writing meaningful blogs, my energy is zapped. Plus, I barely have time to breathe much less write. So I hope that you bear with me until the end of this week. Every day, I will continue to put out a post if I can but they might not be specular.
However, I realized something important. When I am forcing myself to blog, my focus on helping others and gaining insight from life is gone. Instead of focusing on being a light in the dark, I am trying to be perfect. My mother might even call it pride which she is constantly warning about gently.