I’m making new goals to keep myself on track in 2018.
I love lists especially to do lists. Checking off what I’ve done, keeping my life in order, seeing progress made – everything about these lists leaves me feeling satisfied. Or guilty. It’s always one of the two. Hopefully, this year it will be the satisfied feeling only.
Anyway, I decided to make myself a to do list for 2018. Last year was filled with so much growth. I don’t want to lose any of that momentum in this next year.
Whenever I have a meal or snack, the first thing I look for is a distraction. A movie or TV show must be on, a book must be open, or a person must be talking to me.
This made me think if I ever just eat? Does anyone simply eat without distracting himself or herself? If so, does that person experience more mindfulness and healthy/normal/undisordered eating?
Look around while others are eating. How many people are on their phones? What about watching television? Strange, isn’t it? People talk about their hunger or favorite foods. Yet, these same people seem to spend little time focusing on eating itself.
I am not sure if this is necessarily a bad thing. It just is an observation that I made. Does this contribute to disordered eating? Possibly. I am not really sure.
“Those with the greatest awareness have the greatest nightmares.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Each night fills me with terror. Sleeping, which so many people seem to love, is one of my least favorite activities. Not only does it feel like a waste of time, it also brings awful nightmares.
Perhaps I am the villain one night, killing millions of people until everything around me is red. The next evening, a friend or coworker is kidnapping me. Almost worst are the nights when people tell me how they truly feel, how much they really hate me. Sometimes that is the hardest to hear.
I recently received a beautiful comment on this blog. An anonymous support person wrote a letter that was much more powerful than anything I could write trying to understand that point of view. Thus, I wanted to share this letter from a family member or friend of a person struggling with mental illness. Hopefully, it will touch you as much as it impacted me.
Plus, if you ever have something that you want to bring to my attention or think that I should share, let me know in a comment. I cannot promise to always blog it. However, know that I am open to hearing your voice and what you would like to see more of on this blog.
Where do the weekends go? Honestly, the days that I am not in class rush by faster than I can keep track of and enjoy. Only a few more months. That is my constant reassurance.
Anyway, this list is shorter than normal. However, something is better than nothing, right? The items are a bit silly and light-hearted, but that is what I need right now. Just a rest and some laughter.
This story by father and son tells the truth about the struggles and recovery process of schizophrenia.
68. Henry’s Demons: Living with Schizophrenia, A Father and Son’s Story by Patrick Cockburn and Henry Cockburn
Schizophrenia is a disorder that many people know about but few fully understand. People with it are characterized as crazy, murderous, vicious, impossible to interact with, etc. However, there is much more to these people than those negative conotations. Awhile ago, I wrote a review of A Beautiful Mind. For this Media Monday, I decided to focus on another recovery-focused work about suicide, this time a book titled Henry’s Demons: Living with Schizophrenia, A Father and Son’s Story.
Synopsis: What can be worse than receiving news that your 20-year-old son followed the voices instructions and tried to drown himself? Patrick Cockburn and his wife experienced this with their son Henry, who was later diagnosed with schizophrenia. This book, written by father and son, rides the ups and downs of this family’s life with this life-altering illness. Mother and father fight for their son to improve while he tries to convince the world that he is not ill. This and many other tensions fill this fascinating memoir.
Over the past year, I have grown so much and been greatly blessed. There were both beautiful and heart-wrenching moments. As this last day of 2014 finishes, thinking and writing about my favorites from this year seemed appropriate.
Thus, I decided to choose ten different categories and write my ten favorites of those things. By the way, can you guess my favorite number for lists? Each list is in no specific order. Thus, one does not mean my favorite or the best. It is simply the order they happened in or how I wrote them down on the post.
1. Moments – The ones I will not soon forget
Studying abroad in Oxford
Writing, acting in, and touring with Theater on Purpose: Cathedral
Finding a waitress/running job for myself at a movie theater
Moving onto campus at school with two wonderful roommates
Seeing Demi Lovato in concert
Being a mother to a dying child in The Yellow Boat
Finaling in speech team
Receiving a job from my internship at Celebrity Cafe
Tutoring people at school (many great moments)
Feeling beautiful in my red dress at the film festival at school
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. – Erma Bombeck
Appeasing the Invisible
Nothing has more power than the invisible.
It pulls at me, urging my fingers to type on the keyboard,
Hissing in my ear to play with words like play-dough,
Snickering at the plot hole that sucks my story into a black hole.
Should I ignore the invisible?
Some enclose themselves in a steel balloon.
No fiery critics arrow can puncture their flight or plunge them to earth.
However, humans cannot breathe in the elevation of these works.