A Beautiful Ray of Sunshine

Happy Easter Sunday

The sun peaks through all times of life.

When people passed me today and asked how I was doing, I honestly answered, “Actually, I am doing well today!”

After a rough week, today was a beautiful ray of sunshine and hope. The meeting with my dietitian and therapist went well, although I still am struggling even with a reduced meal plan. Shopping at Goodwill allowed me to find a few outfits for Florida. Then my class before Easter break was short but full of wisdom and deep emotion.

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Please Don’t Come Near Me

It's Not You, It's My PTSD

Memories haunt, words remind, fears remain, but I will survive.

The phrase “It’s not you, it’s me” has been haunting me the past few days. However, two words are changed in it that makes all the difference: “It’s not you, it’s my PTSD.” In fact, I wanted to name this post that, but it appears that I already had that idea.

Lately, I have been more jumpy than usual. A man who looks homeless walking down the street sends shivers up my spine. The words “kiss” and “smile” cause flashbacks with both images and physical sensations. Even sweet remarks about how I look can make me cringe.

Worst of all, my fear around men has intensified. Certain people remain safe, thankfully, such as my little brother and father. However, I have a strong desire to keep all guys (especially new ones) far away from me. What if they touch me? My thoughts often race into terrifying directions in a manner of a few seconds.

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