Living Between the Two Sides

Being agreeable and getting along with others has always been important to me.

Sure, I was the shy, antisocial girl who answered too many questions in class and barely talked in the hall. PeersĀ stopped talking when I entered the room, believing me too naive to handle anything slightly inappropriate. Others giggled at my lack of social skills or complained to my face about strange traits.

Still, I wanted others to like me. This continues to be a goal of mine. The more people who like me, the better. Even if I do not like the other person, I hope he or she respects and enjoys me.

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Drawing People In, Pushing Them Away

Mary Poppins walking away

People come and go quickly in my life.

Being in Orlando has taught me a strange fact: I draw people to myself.

Writing that means that I must admit it which is hard. Me, a people person? Me, someone who others like? Me, friendly?

Yet, it is true. Whether chatting with a stranger on the bus or the new person at work, I enjoy knowing people’s stories which they, in turn, enjoy telling. When numerous people are asking to hang out, I must admit that something I am doing (or maybe who I am????) is making friends. Strange how I have changed over the years.

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Agreeing to Be Disagreeable

Meeting Cinderella at Halloween

I dressed up as Cinderella for Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party.

Being disagreeable is a bad thing. So is speaking your mind, being honest, or not liking what everyone else did. You had to be sweet, smiley, and agreeable.

Or at least that is what I thought. Lately, I have begun to allow myself to disagree with others or even argue my point when they belittle my thoughts.

Now, I still want to be kind and respectful to others. However, I no longer feel the bondage of being perfectly agreeable all of the time. Having a bit of spunk and honesty makes me more fun and real, not a bad person.

Realizing this is a bit scary. Have I gone too far and become someone opposite to who I want to be? I don’t think so, but I still worry…

Even so, going back to being the smiling, always conceding girl would be awful. That would be backtracking, right? Progress is being made slowly each day.

“You Have a Way with People.”

Drinking butterbeer

Here I am enjoying my first butterbeer.

My roommate said this amazing phrase the other day: “You have a way with people.”

“Yeah, a way of making them annoyed,” I wanted to quip. However, the negative remarks just stayed in my head as I smiled in thanks.

Her response had to do with a story I had told her about my day. Earlier that afternoon, I went to Harry Potter World at Universal Studios for the first time. Stepping into Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade was truly a magical experience.

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Social Observations From an Aspie: Different Kinds of Promises

With Anna

Meeting Princess Anna who also has problems with promises

“But you promised.”

That is one of the resounding thoughts in my life. I am constantly disappointed because someone promises to hang out with me or give me a present or be there for me but he or she fails to keep to what they promised.

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Am I Good with People?

With my lovely friends Daniela and Claudia at training

With my lovely friends Daniela and Claudia at training

“I admire how you so easily talk with people and make friends.”

I was astonished by my roommate’s words. Is that true? Never in my life have I thought of myself as someone who attracted people or made friends easily. If anything, others saw me as a replaceable friend – good for when no one else was around but pushed aside when someone better came along the way.

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Social Observations From an Aspie: What Makes Guys Uncomfortable 1

Boys in The Yellow Boat

Most of the boys who were in The Yellow Boat with me last spring

As someone with Aspergers, I tend to struggle to read social situations. People chuckle and shake their heads when sarcasm goes over my head and I respond literally to questions asked. At least that means they are enjoying my confusion. In the past (and still sometimes now), people might have scolded me or been exasperated. Now, most just see me as quirky and literal.

The other day, however, a new idea came to me: what if my way of reading people actually was useful or interesting to others? Sure, I am not always perfectly accurate. Yet, my view on social situations is unique. Sometimes I walk into a room and am bogged down by the emotions. Do I understand them? No, but I certainly feel what others are going through at the time. Even when someone says something and I misunderstand it, the situation is fascinating to analyze.

Thus, I am planning to do some posts from now on about how I understand people and social situations. Maybe you will find them helpful, relatable, or simply amusing. Theses posts are meant to give you a little look into my AspieĀ mind. Please know, however, that I do not speak for everyone with Aspergers or Autism. These are simply musings from my own experiences.

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Top Ten Quotes on Aspergers and Autism

The Emphatic Aspergian

The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy. – Meryl Streep

When someone begins to talk about Aspergers or autism, I have learned to prepare by taking a deep breath. Whether it is to complain about a friend whose kid has that awful condition or a child who had trouble making friends for a year but now is cured, the things that people say regarding people on this side of the autism spectrum are often incorrect and a bit irritating.

There are many helpful quotes, however, that I find inspiring. Aspergers is inconvenient but brings great traits along with the struggles. Hopefully, you will see that with these quotes.

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Coping Skills: #73. Apologize

Two girls talking

More people should apologize,
and more people should accept
apologies when sincerely made. – Greg LeMond

Many times, people around us are frustrating. They refuse to help out at work, say that joke that you hate, or act like you are stupid. These instances are annoying and hurtful.

Lashing out in anger can seem to be the only way that people will respond. If you yell loud enough or whine endlessly, someone is sure to take notice. But how will that impact your relationship? What kind of person does that build you up to be?

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Ten Things to Say to Someone with Aspergers

The Emphatic Aspergian

The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy. – Meryl Streep

Often, we discuss what bothers us or what we dislike others doing. This can bring about positive change. However, stating what we need and prefer is important too.

One of my most popular post continues Ten Things Not to Say to Someone with Aspergers. For a month or so now, I have wanted to write the opposite side of that post. What are some comments that can be helpful to someone on the autistic spectrum? Thus, this post was born. Hopefully, you will find it informative and relevant.

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