When is Nice Too Nice?

Darth Vadar

My fear is that if I am not nice, I will be something like him.

Yesterday, two friends were (playfully) bickering. Laughing a bit, I attempted to diffuse the situation a bit. “You can kick me under the table if you need to,” I offered.

“You’re so nice and sweet,” one remarked.

“That’s not sweet. That’s messed up! Who let’s themselves be kicked?” The other friend questioned. “What happened to you in your past that you are so submissive?”

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I Read into Things too Much

Do you ever over-analyze a situation? Think about it until you have exhausted the ways to view it?

This seems to be my life. Why did he say that to me? Why is she looking at me? Are they thinking this? What if they really mean that?

These are the thoughts that continuously run through my head. Every moment of my life seems to be analyzed by myself.

Part of this is my Aspergers. To understand others and adapt socially, I taught myself to pay close attention to small details. Forgetting the “littlest” thing could lead to teasing or being abandoned by my peers.

However, some of my attentiveness seems to have gone overboard. Now, I no longer know how to control it. One word or glance might make me miserable for days. On the other hand, a positive interaction can make me elated for the rest of the week.

So does anyone else (especially those on the Autism spectrum) deal with this? How do you manage to not read too much into everything? Is this even a bad thing?

Coping Skills: #87. Visit the Library

 

Books from OxfordWant to learn a new language for free? Love watching movie and don’t have Netflix? Need to use a computer or printer?

Going to the library can help in any of those situations. Not only can you do all of that, you can also find peace, knowledge, and fun.

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I’m Sorry, Neighbors

Me in black and white

I’m sorry.

I am sorry, neighbors, that I look at you with terrified eyes when you try to say “Hi” while I am walking. That I rapidly turn and scurry in the other direction when I see you even begin to leave your front door. That I would rather pass by a huge black snake than you and your dog.

I am sorry, neighbors, that social anxiety seizes me and propels me away from other humans. That my heart begins to shake whenever I see a car drive by me. That I envision each person around kidnapping, torturing, and killing me.

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Drawing People In, Pushing Them Away

Mary Poppins walking away

People come and go quickly in my life.

Being in Orlando has taught me a strange fact: I draw people to myself.

Writing that means that I must admit it which is hard. Me, a people person? Me, someone who others like? Me, friendly?

Yet, it is true. Whether chatting with a stranger on the bus or the new person at work, I enjoy knowing people’s stories which they, in turn, enjoy telling. When numerous people are asking to hang out, I must admit that something I am doing (or maybe who I am????) is making friends. Strange how I have changed over the years.

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“You Have a Way with People.”

Drinking butterbeer

Here I am enjoying my first butterbeer.

My roommate said this amazing phrase the other day: “You have a way with people.”

“Yeah, a way of making them annoyed,” I wanted to quip. However, the negative remarks just stayed in my head as I smiled in thanks.

Her response had to do with a story I had told her about my day. Earlier that afternoon, I went to Harry Potter World at Universal Studios for the first time. Stepping into Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade was truly a magical experience.

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Social Observations From an Aspie: Different Kinds of Promises

With Anna

Meeting Princess Anna who also has problems with promises

“But you promised.”

That is one of the resounding thoughts in my life. I am constantly disappointed because someone promises to hang out with me or give me a present or be there for me but he or she fails to keep to what they promised.

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“You Have Gotten So Good with People!”

Daniela and me

With my friend Daniela

The other day when I was grouping people onto the carousal – AKA herding them into a small space to count how many people will be on the next ride – which is a job that terrifies me because I need to tell guests to do something they hate doing, a fellow cast member and great friend named Amanda said one of the sweetest things ever.

“You have gotten so good with people!” She beamed. “I feel like a proud mother.”

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What Loneliness Taught Me

Selfie in mirror at Disney

Being alone can teach you about yourself and others.

“Two is a pair. Three is a crowd.”

That saying might not be true, but I have certainly experienced it at times. Children pair up, having a best friend and sometimes even a second best friend. Girls giggling with others while passing me by, being picked last for a team, roommates making plans while I watched – being alone has been an important part of my life.

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Am I Good with People?

With my lovely friends Daniela and Claudia at training

With my lovely friends Daniela and Claudia at training

“I admire how you so easily talk with people and make friends.”

I was astonished by my roommate’s words. Is that true? Never in my life have I thought of myself as someone who attracted people or made friends easily. If anything, others saw me as a replaceable friend – good for when no one else was around but pushed aside when someone better came along the way.

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