I’m making new goals to keep myself on track in 2018.
I love lists especially to do lists. Checking off what I’ve done, keeping my life in order, seeing progress made – everything about these lists leaves me feeling satisfied. Or guilty. It’s always one of the two. Hopefully, this year it will be the satisfied feeling only.
Anyway, I decided to make myself a to do list for 2018. Last year was filled with so much growth. I don’t want to lose any of that momentum in this next year.
Here is the fourth version of my bucket list. There are some things taken out and some added. Dreams come and go with time, but many have stayed the same.
Teaching and living in China is the biggest change since the last update in August 2015. However, I also transitioned to a new role at Disney World before coming to Asia and grew to a more confident and happy person. Continue reading →
From theater to Disney, my life has constantly been filled with places where I need to smile. I enjoy smiling. When I see others smiling, my heart feels lighter especially if I helped bring about their joy. I don’t mind keeping a smile on my face for hours on end when I see it positively influencing others.
However, I sometimes feel more like crying than smiling. Then, I realize that people think of me as someone who always smiles. Who would I be without my smile? This haunts me.
After taking a few days away from the show, I already miss it although there is also a sense of relief and closure. Thus, here is my final list of thanks to the wonderful people who made Narnia happen.
1066. Nathan: Director – He had a great vision for the play. Instead of being cutesy or overly extravagant, the show was a mix of magical, simple, and earthy. I really respected his way of helping us to tell the story, no matter what part we played. Continue reading →
Paul, Katie, and I are dressed as coats for Narnia.
Here is a continuation of my list of thanks for my wonderful cast of Narnia. Today, we have our last two shows which is very bittersweet. Choosing to do this show was difficult at times, but I am certainly glad that I stayed strong and stuck with it even in the stressful, depressing moments. These people are much of the reason why I did so.
1055. Abby: Fenris– You are so incredibly amazing! Honestly, I want to spend every day being with you because you have such a kind heart, hilarious sense of humor, and creative outlook. Hopefully, I do not annoy you too much by being your little evil buddy. You make being a crulie in Narnia fun! Continue reading →
Normally, I write a note to each member of shows that I am in, but lately my time for anything extra has vanished swiftly. Thus, I decided to make this post the first of two parts thanking all of the amazing people who were in or helped with Narnia.
1044. Ben: Aslan/Father Christmas/Professor Diggory – Your majestic voice, huge smile, and warm personality made you perfect for this role. However, you are even more than a great actor; you are a magnificent person. Thank you for taking the time to listen and laugh with me even about silly things. The fact that you show care for everyone is so beautiful!
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. – Thomas Edison
When I look back on my day, failures are the main things that I notice. My own failures in particular haunt me. Lately, reminiscing on these problems has been especially time-consuming. In fact, I can list them in my brain from just today:
The lowest grade ever on an exam (28 out of 40)
Eating two chocolates in addition to a (smaller) dessert
Not being able to figure out roommate arrangements at Disney
Looking gross in the mirror
Almost being late getting my costume on for Narnia
This list continues on and on, but dwelling on it only depresses me more. Instead, I need to remember that my failures do not make me the failure. Sure, I am not perfect, but no one else is either.
Lately, my loneliness and fear of the future has been growing. However, I am trying to stay grounded in reality. There are so many wonderful friends that I have and so much support from numerous people.
Thus, being thankful instead of miserable is a wise decision. Some days, taking the time to even do that seems pointless and impossible. However, we need to count our blessings even at the darkest of moments. There is always a light that can be found.
So, here is a list of thanksgiving for the play Narnia,which I am in right now. This story has enchanted, haunted, depressed, and overjoyed me at different points in life. Now, I will honor what I love about it.
Literature was the first place where I began to identify with characters. That and movies. Suddenly, other women and girls who I admired were set in front of me. They became role models, whether they were supposed to be or not.
Theater was the next place where I was introduced to characters that I wanted to be. Her voice, her style, her life – they all were more appealing than mine. As I portrayed more females, I felt myself change.