I am not even sure how to start this exactly. The wait between these posts (both for you reading and me writing) has been far too long.
Life has been a bit hectic and full of changes lately. Since my last post in June (forever ago, I know), I have been offered a new job which I will be leaving the country for in a few months. After years of dreaming and doubting myself, I am going to be teaching English in China. Better yet, the Disney company will still be my employer.
The joy of taking this new step in life comes hand-in-hand with the fear of change. Am I really moving to a country across the world that I have never been to before? How will I learn Mandarin that quickly? How will I survive without my family and friends? How will I ever be confident enough to teach?
The wonderful package that my friend Morgan sent me was the highlight of my week.
Waiting to get a job at Disney again and then waiting for it to start these past two months has been hard. However, even in the hard times, remembering the beautiful elements of life is important.
Just this week, I endured many struggles with my anxiety, eating disorder thoughts, and depression. However, even more blessings followed me. I need to remember to look at those good things and notice them just as much (or, hopefully, even more) than the negative parts of life.
Yesterday at work, I asked to run food to cashiers instead of being on a cash register. My anxiety about doing something wrong (especially since no one wanted to train me and so spent little time with me) has been surging. I cannot wait to be at Disney again.
Someone asked if I could do register. Freezing with fear, I just stared at a coworker. “She’s running for us,” my coworker loyally stated.